msn conversation with Amy:
Gabrielle says:
i have to do something to say goodbye to this pregnancy. i know it's what's holding me back from going into labour cos i am teary even thinking of it ending.
i feel so beautiful this pregnant, so full and in blossom and i don't wanna be tired, fatigued and flabby with a newborn yet!
amy says:
r u sad because u think its the last?
Gabrielle says:
maybe. i think a bit of me feels it is
Gabrielle says:
and u know how much i love this stuff, it's hard to let go of
Gabrielle says:
i was devastated when jase and i separated last time cos i mourned the babes i wouldn't have and then when this one came along it was so so much of a beautiful gift
i'm bawling my eyes out right now
Gabrielle says:
not terribly sad but just know this is it
Gabrielle says:
i'll miss the beauty and strength of feeling completely in an act of creation
Gabrielle says:
i should blog about it i think.. a commemorative and cathartic thing
amy says:
it must be ..i truly feel an emptiness just watching you so beautiful and blossumed..and that wanting to be full..its love from the inside...and radiates from you..that baby is hanging to get so you can be her/his mummy..cos you are the bestest
amy says:
i wish i could hug you right now
amy says:
thats a good idea
Gabrielle says:
thank u
amy says:
blog away
Gabrielle says:
i never felt so womanly and glowing in my femininity with the other two.. it has been THIS pregnancy that has brought it out in me and i know there will be other ways i'll express that part of me in life but pregnancy and birth is HUGE to that essential life giving essence of a woman
Gabrielle says:
i should just blog this convo
Gabrielle says:
it's what makes women clucky hey
amy says:
so well said
Gabrielle says:
seeing the beauty in other pregnant women and recogising how DIVINE it is
amy says:
you have been blessed to know that you can take this new essence of woman with you..into motherhood and into yourself
amy says:
so tru
Gabrielle says:
yes ur right
Gabrielle says:
i just have to let go of this being about me
Gabrielle says:
it's the first time i've truly felt my power; creatively, nurturing-wise and lovingly in a sense of how expansive it can be
amy says:
no way u just have to share it with all of us a bit more than u r used to..your power is beautiful feminine energy that so many of us will learn from and love
Gabrielle says:
oh thank u babe
Gabrielle says:
ok snot fest going on here now
amy says:
lol
Gabrielle says:
rofl
Monday, December 17, 2007
Friday, December 14, 2007
Blessed
ok I've had the henna done so now i can pop :D
and some pregnancy shots... from what ended up being a second blessingway when i had my belly cast and an impromptu homegrown photo shoot with friends!
and some pregnancy shots... from what ended up being a second blessingway when i had my belly cast and an impromptu homegrown photo shoot with friends!
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
freebirth
What a journey...
In the past couple of weeks I have pretty much decided to have this baby here at home.
My desire to freebirth was rekindled by seeing The Business of Being Born as it stirred something in me that has always been trying to raise its head throughout this pregnancy... particularly after GBS became a 'complication' of this pregnancy.
Anyway, after doing loads of my own research non stop pretty much since thinking "i'm going to do this"... I've had the most wonderful release yesterday when i talked to my BC midwife about my fears of the AB's being pushed on me during labour and the way the hospital would want to handle my baby after its born.
I talked to a friend about it all last week and also about my concerns re who to have with me during the birth.. because I have had a desire to have only women supporting me with this birth, as I really feel like my husband isn't going to have
a) the knowledge of what is going on to be able to fully support me
b) the ability to keep his cool and not get stressed about my giving birth outside of a hospital...
but perhaps he'll surprise me.. I have to have a few conversations with him first so it seems :D
In the past couple of weeks I have pretty much decided to have this baby here at home.
My desire to freebirth was rekindled by seeing The Business of Being Born as it stirred something in me that has always been trying to raise its head throughout this pregnancy... particularly after GBS became a 'complication' of this pregnancy.
Anyway, after doing loads of my own research non stop pretty much since thinking "i'm going to do this"... I've had the most wonderful release yesterday when i talked to my BC midwife about my fears of the AB's being pushed on me during labour and the way the hospital would want to handle my baby after its born.
I talked to a friend about it all last week and also about my concerns re who to have with me during the birth.. because I have had a desire to have only women supporting me with this birth, as I really feel like my husband isn't going to have
a) the knowledge of what is going on to be able to fully support me
b) the ability to keep his cool and not get stressed about my giving birth outside of a hospital...
but perhaps he'll surprise me.. I have to have a few conversations with him first so it seems :D
Friday, December 7, 2007
Peace, fear and birth
Naturally, I have been spending quite a bit of time thinking about the upcoming birth of this babe... and I've identified the things that I consider to be the most important pieces of the pie for me regarding the actual birth process itself.
I do not fear birth, and when I think of giving birth, I am thrilled and in awe of what is to come... I have no anticipation of pain and believe this birth is going to be something exquisite.
I am conscious of how important peace is during labour, and how fear has no place if I want it to be a truly beautiful experience. It's not only important for the mother labouring to have peace within herself, but for those surrounding her to also have peace and no sense of fear of the journey she is undertaking.
Like so many other posts, this is one i have to leave unfinished while i tend to the monkeys... :p
I do not fear birth, and when I think of giving birth, I am thrilled and in awe of what is to come... I have no anticipation of pain and believe this birth is going to be something exquisite.
I am conscious of how important peace is during labour, and how fear has no place if I want it to be a truly beautiful experience. It's not only important for the mother labouring to have peace within herself, but for those surrounding her to also have peace and no sense of fear of the journey she is undertaking.
Like so many other posts, this is one i have to leave unfinished while i tend to the monkeys... :p
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Do-it-Yourself Childbirth by Laura Shanley
Childbirth — the word alone makes most people cringe. Instantly, one imagines a frightened, tearful woman lying in a hospital bed surrounded by masked men and women and perhaps a family member. Monitors are beeping and people are yelling "PUSH! PUSH!" as the poor woman struggles with all her might to expel her baby. Her forehead is sweating and periodically she cries, "I can't do this anymore!" Medical personnel assure her that she can — but if she can't, they will be more than happy to assist her with drugs, forceps, scissors, and a knife, if necessary. Thank God for modern medicine. How did we ever survive without it?
The truth is, we did survive and can continue to survive, quite well in most cases, especially when it comes to giving birth. First, however, we must rid ourselves of the belief that childbirth is a painful, dangerous ordeal that must always be supervised and assisted by "skilled professionals." I chose to believe otherwise, and this is my story.
I first became interested in childbirth when I was about six years old. After listening to my mother's explanation of what actually happens in birth, however, my interest was short lived. "After they shave you, the doctor makes a little cut to make more room for the baby," she said. That's all I needed to hear. If there were to be any children in my future, someone else was going to have to give birth to them.
Changing Perceptions
As I grew older, movies and television helped fill in all the gory details. Obviously, I reasoned, pregnancy was a disease complete with vomiting, backaches, swollen ankles and strange cravings. If you survived it, you could look forward to hours or maybe days of excruciating labor pains, followed by weeks in the hospital. Motherhood was becoming increasingly unappealing.
My perception of childbirth changed, however, when at the age of 18 my husband-to-be, David, presented me with a copy of Grantly Dick-Read's Childbirth Without Fear. Dick-Read was an English physician who used chloroform to ease labor pains, as was the custom in the first half of the 20th century. But one night, something happened that forever changed his perception of birth.
He went to the house of a poor country woman who was about to have a child. When he felt the birth was near, he offered her the chloroform, but the woman refused to take it. This was the first time he had ever seen a woman refuse it, and yet the woman remained perfectly calm and the baby was born easily. As he was leaving, he asked her why she had chosen to give birth without an anesthetic and she replied, "It didn't hurt. It wasn't meant to, was it, doctor?"
Over the next few years, Dick-Read encountered other women who appeared to have little or no pain in childbirth. What, he wondered, could explain why some women suffered and others did not. He went on to study it extensively.
He discovered that the women who suffered the most in childbirth were the ones who were most afraid. Fear, he learned, has a profound effect on the body. When a person is in a state of fear, messages are sent to the body telling it to either fight the perceived danger or run away from it. Blood and oxygen instantly rush into the muscle structure, which in turn gives the body the power it needs to survive. Any organs that are not needed for either "fight or flight" are consequently drained of blood (and oxygen) so that it may be diverted elsewhere. This explains why people turn "white as a sheet" when they're afraid. The body assumes that the face is not in need of blood and oxygen as much as the legs, for instance, which when given the extra "fuel," enable the endangered person to run.
In addition to the face, blood is also drained from the brain, the digestive organs and the uterus. Dick-Read found that the uterus of a frightened woman in labor is literally white. Without the fuel it needs, the uterus cannot function correctly, nor can waste products be carried away. Therefore, labor hurts. The solution — eliminate the fear and you eliminate the pain.
Dick-Read's theories made sense to me. Maybe childbirth wouldn't be so bad after all, I thought. Less than two years later, David and I moved in together and I got the chance to see for myself.
In addition to Childbirth Without Fear, we had also been reading the Seth material (by Jane Roberts) and other books that dealt with how our beliefs create our reality. Little by little, we were beginning to create the life we desired. Why, we wondered, shouldn't we be able to create the birth we desired, as well? In November, 1977, I conceived.
Everyday I repeated my belief suggestions, "I believe in my ability to give birth safely and easily at home," I told myself. "I believe I'm not afraid, I believe I'm safe, I believe I'm innocent. I believe I'm deserving of a good birth." I examined every aspect of my consciousness looking for any beliefs that might prevent me from having the kind of birth I desired. I also practiced giving birth frequently in my dreams.
Consequently, I had almost none of the so-called symptoms of pregnancy. I vomited only one day, and that stopped when I realized I still had some fears about becoming a mother. "I'm not afraid of being a mother," I told myself, and I never vomited again.
I went into labor on the afternoon of August 20, 1978. The contractions weren't completely painless, but they weren't anything that I couldn't easily handle. Around midnight, David and I called up three of our friends who had asked to attend, along with a film maker who wanted to film the birth. Within a half an hour, everyone was there, and we proceeded to talk and laugh and generally enjoy ourselves. We didn't time contractions or check to see how dilated I was. We simply relaxed, had fun, and trusted that when the time was right, the baby would be born.
At about 1:30am, my water bag broke and I reached down and felt the baby's face. I walked over to the bed, got on my hands and knees, and was about to turn over when I heard an inner voice say, "Don't turn over." I didn't, and a second later my beautiful baby boy, John, literally flew into David's hands. The birth had been a tremendous success. Fifteen months later, I conceived my second son, Willie, and also delivered him, feet first, at home into my own hands. Eighteen months after having Willie, I conceived my daughter, Joy.
This time I thought I might like to be alone for the birth. I had come to trust my body completely. On the morning of November 17, 1982, I went into labor. My sons were sleeping and David was at the campus library. I took a shower, got out my little bathtub, and got down on one foot and one knee, the position that felt right to me this time. When I felt her head crowning, I gave one push and she slipped gently into my hands. She looked right up at me and gave a little cry. The thought went through my mind that she was the most beautiful gift I had ever received.
After cutting the cord, wrapping her in a blanket and delivering the placenta into the bathtub, I went over to the couch to lie down. Soft bells and the sound of ocean waves filled my head. I felt positively blissful. An hour or two later, I got up and took a shower. Then Joy, John, Willie, a friend of mine and I all walked over to the campus to see David. The temperature was in the 70's and I felt as if I were floating on air. This, I thought, is how birth is supposed to be.
The truth is, we did survive and can continue to survive, quite well in most cases, especially when it comes to giving birth. First, however, we must rid ourselves of the belief that childbirth is a painful, dangerous ordeal that must always be supervised and assisted by "skilled professionals." I chose to believe otherwise, and this is my story.
I first became interested in childbirth when I was about six years old. After listening to my mother's explanation of what actually happens in birth, however, my interest was short lived. "After they shave you, the doctor makes a little cut to make more room for the baby," she said. That's all I needed to hear. If there were to be any children in my future, someone else was going to have to give birth to them.
Changing Perceptions
As I grew older, movies and television helped fill in all the gory details. Obviously, I reasoned, pregnancy was a disease complete with vomiting, backaches, swollen ankles and strange cravings. If you survived it, you could look forward to hours or maybe days of excruciating labor pains, followed by weeks in the hospital. Motherhood was becoming increasingly unappealing.
My perception of childbirth changed, however, when at the age of 18 my husband-to-be, David, presented me with a copy of Grantly Dick-Read's Childbirth Without Fear. Dick-Read was an English physician who used chloroform to ease labor pains, as was the custom in the first half of the 20th century. But one night, something happened that forever changed his perception of birth.
He went to the house of a poor country woman who was about to have a child. When he felt the birth was near, he offered her the chloroform, but the woman refused to take it. This was the first time he had ever seen a woman refuse it, and yet the woman remained perfectly calm and the baby was born easily. As he was leaving, he asked her why she had chosen to give birth without an anesthetic and she replied, "It didn't hurt. It wasn't meant to, was it, doctor?"
Over the next few years, Dick-Read encountered other women who appeared to have little or no pain in childbirth. What, he wondered, could explain why some women suffered and others did not. He went on to study it extensively.
He discovered that the women who suffered the most in childbirth were the ones who were most afraid. Fear, he learned, has a profound effect on the body. When a person is in a state of fear, messages are sent to the body telling it to either fight the perceived danger or run away from it. Blood and oxygen instantly rush into the muscle structure, which in turn gives the body the power it needs to survive. Any organs that are not needed for either "fight or flight" are consequently drained of blood (and oxygen) so that it may be diverted elsewhere. This explains why people turn "white as a sheet" when they're afraid. The body assumes that the face is not in need of blood and oxygen as much as the legs, for instance, which when given the extra "fuel," enable the endangered person to run.
In addition to the face, blood is also drained from the brain, the digestive organs and the uterus. Dick-Read found that the uterus of a frightened woman in labor is literally white. Without the fuel it needs, the uterus cannot function correctly, nor can waste products be carried away. Therefore, labor hurts. The solution — eliminate the fear and you eliminate the pain.
Dick-Read's theories made sense to me. Maybe childbirth wouldn't be so bad after all, I thought. Less than two years later, David and I moved in together and I got the chance to see for myself.
In addition to Childbirth Without Fear, we had also been reading the Seth material (by Jane Roberts) and other books that dealt with how our beliefs create our reality. Little by little, we were beginning to create the life we desired. Why, we wondered, shouldn't we be able to create the birth we desired, as well? In November, 1977, I conceived.
Everyday I repeated my belief suggestions, "I believe in my ability to give birth safely and easily at home," I told myself. "I believe I'm not afraid, I believe I'm safe, I believe I'm innocent. I believe I'm deserving of a good birth." I examined every aspect of my consciousness looking for any beliefs that might prevent me from having the kind of birth I desired. I also practiced giving birth frequently in my dreams.
Consequently, I had almost none of the so-called symptoms of pregnancy. I vomited only one day, and that stopped when I realized I still had some fears about becoming a mother. "I'm not afraid of being a mother," I told myself, and I never vomited again.
I went into labor on the afternoon of August 20, 1978. The contractions weren't completely painless, but they weren't anything that I couldn't easily handle. Around midnight, David and I called up three of our friends who had asked to attend, along with a film maker who wanted to film the birth. Within a half an hour, everyone was there, and we proceeded to talk and laugh and generally enjoy ourselves. We didn't time contractions or check to see how dilated I was. We simply relaxed, had fun, and trusted that when the time was right, the baby would be born.
At about 1:30am, my water bag broke and I reached down and felt the baby's face. I walked over to the bed, got on my hands and knees, and was about to turn over when I heard an inner voice say, "Don't turn over." I didn't, and a second later my beautiful baby boy, John, literally flew into David's hands. The birth had been a tremendous success. Fifteen months later, I conceived my second son, Willie, and also delivered him, feet first, at home into my own hands. Eighteen months after having Willie, I conceived my daughter, Joy.
This time I thought I might like to be alone for the birth. I had come to trust my body completely. On the morning of November 17, 1982, I went into labor. My sons were sleeping and David was at the campus library. I took a shower, got out my little bathtub, and got down on one foot and one knee, the position that felt right to me this time. When I felt her head crowning, I gave one push and she slipped gently into my hands. She looked right up at me and gave a little cry. The thought went through my mind that she was the most beautiful gift I had ever received.
After cutting the cord, wrapping her in a blanket and delivering the placenta into the bathtub, I went over to the couch to lie down. Soft bells and the sound of ocean waves filled my head. I felt positively blissful. An hour or two later, I got up and took a shower. Then Joy, John, Willie, a friend of mine and I all walked over to the campus to see David. The temperature was in the 70's and I felt as if I were floating on air. This, I thought, is how birth is supposed to be.
WOW this is beautiful stuff
Taken from:
The fluctuations of Birth are the cosmic energies emanating from the centre of the earth like circles of Light wrapping the birthing woman.
Her heels must step firmly on earth in order to connect with the Energy of Mother-Earth.
The Energy of the Earth forms the magnetic impulse which draws the baby towards her at the moment of birthing.
A baby feels the vibrations of the cosmos and the innate Wisdom within him realizes the perfect labor towards his proper Birth and a mother must listen to the dictations of her body in order to follow the perfect course of birthing… as a river drags stones, the “pain” of labor work is giving birth to Life.
A perfect woman knows when the moment of delivery has arrived and forgets her fears and the only principle which guides her life… is seeing Life, wrapped within this marvellous cocoon: The new-born.
To give birth within perfection is the attribute of all mothers who know that their mission is to give Life within a glorious feat that is: delivering in squat position… the perfect position; because the five elements claim for the Justice of Birth.
Birthing mothers who are empowered within their Pure Being are rooting birth beyond pain; beyond techniques, beyond everything because after all… it’s only Life which comes to magnify Life.
"Mothers of the earth: “Don’t be afraid to deliver in concordance with the universe… in concordance with your perfection!”
The fluctuations of Birth are the cosmic energies emanating from the centre of the earth like circles of Light wrapping the birthing woman.
Her heels must step firmly on earth in order to connect with the Energy of Mother-Earth.
The Energy of the Earth forms the magnetic impulse which draws the baby towards her at the moment of birthing.
A baby feels the vibrations of the cosmos and the innate Wisdom within him realizes the perfect labor towards his proper Birth and a mother must listen to the dictations of her body in order to follow the perfect course of birthing… as a river drags stones, the “pain” of labor work is giving birth to Life.
A perfect woman knows when the moment of delivery has arrived and forgets her fears and the only principle which guides her life… is seeing Life, wrapped within this marvellous cocoon: The new-born.
To give birth within perfection is the attribute of all mothers who know that their mission is to give Life within a glorious feat that is: delivering in squat position… the perfect position; because the five elements claim for the Justice of Birth.
Birthing mothers who are empowered within their Pure Being are rooting birth beyond pain; beyond techniques, beyond everything because after all… it’s only Life which comes to magnify Life.
"Mothers of the earth: “Don’t be afraid to deliver in concordance with the universe… in concordance with your perfection!”
Monday, December 3, 2007
The Birthing Dance
Come to me, My Child
Secret longing of my inner heart
Breath of spirit
Wandering the cosmos
Choosing your next lifepath
Seeking sanctuary in my womb
Visions of you stir my dreams
Your gentle essence drifting inward
Merging into matter
Coming into consciousness
Birthing into being
Your tender wisdom speaks
The ancient knowledge of a mother's power
Our bodies grow together
Two as one
Turning round, in birthing dance
You lead me
Opening the circle corridor
Descending into unhindered ecstasy
Into my arms
Judie C. Rall
Secret longing of my inner heart
Breath of spirit
Wandering the cosmos
Choosing your next lifepath
Seeking sanctuary in my womb
Visions of you stir my dreams
Your gentle essence drifting inward
Merging into matter
Coming into consciousness
Birthing into being
Your tender wisdom speaks
The ancient knowledge of a mother's power
Our bodies grow together
Two as one
Turning round, in birthing dance
You lead me
Opening the circle corridor
Descending into unhindered ecstasy
Into my arms
Judie C. Rall
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Purebirth
Further to my previous post... and this unsquashable desire for me to be able to birth in a space the way I want...
http://www.purebirth-australia.com/support/freebirth-but.html#husband
http://www.purebirth-australia.com/support/freebirth-but.html#husband
Space
As I rapidly run out of room in my body for this baby, I am craving space on so many levels.
I want space in my bed so I can roll over with ease.
I want an empty house so I can nest and clean. I'm going crazy that i have no way of getting the house the way I want it to be, and it's not a priority for anyone but me.
At this point I don't feel comfortable at all with the idea of even laboring here cos it's so yuck. There's too much furniture, too much stuff and too many people.
I want space to breathe... and the kids pick up on this and it somehow makes them all the more needy of my attention. As soon as I withdraw to my own headspace, I'm bombarded with "Mum?" questions.
I want a haven. My house doesn't feel like that for me at all at the moment.
I keep finding that I want my mum here to make sure there's at least clean sheets on the bed when I come home from hospital... and to make sure MY needs are being met as I prepare for this bub. Mums are good at this stuff cos they needed it themselves once. Jase is more baby focussed, so it's a baby outcome focus rather than birth and baby focus.
I want Jase to support and just show some INTEREST in how I'm feeling right now. I know this one is particularly tough cos he is studying for his last exam which is held on the 11th Dec, and it's a killer so it's really taking his time right now.
I want Jase to pull his finger out and start driving the car to get used to a manual. I am fed up with being the limo driver. Completely fed up. I feel so unsupported not having the confidence he'll even be able to get me to hospital. He doesn't want to drive cos he says it makes him angry when he stalls etc. Well all that requires is a bit of practice. It reminds me of how when I was pregnant with Julian, he only got his license a month before Julian was born. It sucks.
Mostly though, I just want space.
I want his dad out of our house
I want my house clean
I want the kids in their own room
I want to have people with me in labor who GET me and support me
I want to run away and have this baby on my own in the bush somewhere if I can't have the previous things!
I'm feeling like running so much.. just for the sake of having my own space and not feeling suffocated by my environment and the people around me.
I've even thought maybe I could rent somewhere for a week around when bub is due to just have that space I am craving... to be on my own.
I want space in my bed so I can roll over with ease.
I want an empty house so I can nest and clean. I'm going crazy that i have no way of getting the house the way I want it to be, and it's not a priority for anyone but me.
At this point I don't feel comfortable at all with the idea of even laboring here cos it's so yuck. There's too much furniture, too much stuff and too many people.
I want space to breathe... and the kids pick up on this and it somehow makes them all the more needy of my attention. As soon as I withdraw to my own headspace, I'm bombarded with "Mum?" questions.
I want a haven. My house doesn't feel like that for me at all at the moment.
I keep finding that I want my mum here to make sure there's at least clean sheets on the bed when I come home from hospital... and to make sure MY needs are being met as I prepare for this bub. Mums are good at this stuff cos they needed it themselves once. Jase is more baby focussed, so it's a baby outcome focus rather than birth and baby focus.
I want Jase to support and just show some INTEREST in how I'm feeling right now. I know this one is particularly tough cos he is studying for his last exam which is held on the 11th Dec, and it's a killer so it's really taking his time right now.
I want Jase to pull his finger out and start driving the car to get used to a manual. I am fed up with being the limo driver. Completely fed up. I feel so unsupported not having the confidence he'll even be able to get me to hospital. He doesn't want to drive cos he says it makes him angry when he stalls etc. Well all that requires is a bit of practice. It reminds me of how when I was pregnant with Julian, he only got his license a month before Julian was born. It sucks.
Mostly though, I just want space.
I want his dad out of our house
I want my house clean
I want the kids in their own room
I want to have people with me in labor who GET me and support me
I want to run away and have this baby on my own in the bush somewhere if I can't have the previous things!
I'm feeling like running so much.. just for the sake of having my own space and not feeling suffocated by my environment and the people around me.
I've even thought maybe I could rent somewhere for a week around when bub is due to just have that space I am craving... to be on my own.
Saturday, December 1, 2007
37ish weeks
I have started so many blogs and I just can't finish any of them. This one is no exception as Te Aroha is sitting on the desk blocking my view of the screen. Lucky I can touchtype hehe!
Anyway a quick post about the belly.
I'm at the point where people gawk and women give me sympathetic looks followed with "oh you must be so over it by now!" but I have to say I'm really feeling differnt this time. I can certainly remember feeling 'over it' with the last two but although I am tired and bothered a bit by a dodgy pelvis, I'm really not ready for the end of this pregnancy.
I can't wait to meet this lil bub but I can...
ok i have to come back to this post too as i now have 2 kids on me and one in me which makes for an uncomfortable typing experience.
Anyway a quick post about the belly.
I'm at the point where people gawk and women give me sympathetic looks followed with "oh you must be so over it by now!" but I have to say I'm really feeling differnt this time. I can certainly remember feeling 'over it' with the last two but although I am tired and bothered a bit by a dodgy pelvis, I'm really not ready for the end of this pregnancy.
I can't wait to meet this lil bub but I can...
ok i have to come back to this post too as i now have 2 kids on me and one in me which makes for an uncomfortable typing experience.
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
The "Real" World
On so many occasions in my life, I've been told that what i think or what i am doing isn't normal or acceptable in some way and that I need to stop my crazy ideas, pull my head in and live in the "real world".
It has just dawned on me how funny that is. The very people who have told me to live in the 'real world' are really living in a very unreal world.
It has just dawned on me how funny that is. The very people who have told me to live in the 'real world' are really living in a very unreal world.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Surrender
I'm soaring on the golden wings of a breakthrough... one I'm not going to articulate completely here, but I need to mark this occasion in some way as it has altered my Being.
Breakthroughs always require giving something up - some pattern of behaviour, some long held onto belief... and the willingness to surrender that way of being through Trust in the unknown... Trust in what may lie just beyond the closed door of habit.
The transition can be painful and feel nearly impossible while the mind is consumed with staying in control and holding onto the perceived safety of past patterns and beliefs, but once that control is surrendered, and trust is placed the unknown, it is then that you are open to experience a breakthrough that will leave you irrevocably changed. You then recognise how you were only existing prior to your breakthrough.
You feel expansive and invincible, golden...
Newborn and ancient...
I have taken my place.
Breakthroughs always require giving something up - some pattern of behaviour, some long held onto belief... and the willingness to surrender that way of being through Trust in the unknown... Trust in what may lie just beyond the closed door of habit.
The transition can be painful and feel nearly impossible while the mind is consumed with staying in control and holding onto the perceived safety of past patterns and beliefs, but once that control is surrendered, and trust is placed the unknown, it is then that you are open to experience a breakthrough that will leave you irrevocably changed. You then recognise how you were only existing prior to your breakthrough.
You feel expansive and invincible, golden...
Newborn and ancient...
I have taken my place.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Keeping it coming
I've been in a blissful state for some time now, but I know it's also through some degree of maintenance on my part that I'm enjoying the space I'm currently at.
"It" has all been coming very easily to me, with fluidity and joy, and i continuously pause to marvel at the way life fits together piece by piece.
I picture my life to be like a magnificent and intricately designed quilt, with many uniquely shaped pieces and fragments of colour that are brought together through creative energy to form a piece of art.
I know I'm enjoying the 'view' right now largely due to the time I have had spare to spend focussing on maintaining my flow. I know through reflecting on where I can tweak and finetune things, I can go on to achieve even higher levels of bliss.
What I'm trying to get my head around is how it will look when when this new little baby arrives, because I know how limited time for ME is going to be, having the memory of the early days with my last two babies, and to be honest it's a little daunting because I don't want to be taking steps backwards...
I know it's about finding a balance, but life changes impact on how balance works... and life is so different from one day to the next with kids. After talking with Amy about this whole subject of maintenance, I've realised i need to make it one of my self projects NOW to put foundations in place in order to maintain the flow when I have my little one in my arms. I'm just not completely sure what that involves as yet.
"It" has all been coming very easily to me, with fluidity and joy, and i continuously pause to marvel at the way life fits together piece by piece.
I picture my life to be like a magnificent and intricately designed quilt, with many uniquely shaped pieces and fragments of colour that are brought together through creative energy to form a piece of art.
I know I'm enjoying the 'view' right now largely due to the time I have had spare to spend focussing on maintaining my flow. I know through reflecting on where I can tweak and finetune things, I can go on to achieve even higher levels of bliss.
What I'm trying to get my head around is how it will look when when this new little baby arrives, because I know how limited time for ME is going to be, having the memory of the early days with my last two babies, and to be honest it's a little daunting because I don't want to be taking steps backwards...
I know it's about finding a balance, but life changes impact on how balance works... and life is so different from one day to the next with kids. After talking with Amy about this whole subject of maintenance, I've realised i need to make it one of my self projects NOW to put foundations in place in order to maintain the flow when I have my little one in my arms. I'm just not completely sure what that involves as yet.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Stillness amongst the Drama!
A while back now, I did a 3 day course that really made me aware of just how much we create our own meanings for things that happen to us over our lifetime.
For example, someone will say or do something which is not meant to be hurtful to you, but for whatever reason, based on our past experiences and expectations, you feel hurt by it.
This course was about recognising that at that point, you're making choices about how you feel about something based on your filters. Therefore, you have a choice available to you. You can either feel hurt by making it mean something or you don't feel hurt by recognising it is just your meaning, so you don't take it onboard.
Recognising that whatever was happening to me in my life was being seen through my own filters formed from years of conditioning and self-meaning making, I was able to distance myself from the drama... and I'd had a long history of lots of it going on with my relationship with my parents, so it was a turning point for me and my relationship with them.
So while the drama for them goes on, and always will until they recognise that their freedom is available to them simply through their choosing it to be, I am able to sit, listen and find an energising stillness in choosing not to participate in their drama or conversations about drama. This is absolutely maddening to them, I'm sure they think I'm a nutter, but it's oddly humorous to me! There was a time when i would have felt i absolutely HAD to get my view across to them, and would have wanted to 'show them the light' to get them out of their drama cycle, but the thing is, it's all about timing, and they're simply not ready to give up what they get out of their drama, which is wallowing in the drama of drama! LOL!
So when drama arises with my parents, as it does every few weeks or so, I hear them getting into a frenzy and I am sitting calmly on the other end of the phone, detached from the drama but listening and marvelling at what a fantastic concoction of stress they've made for themselves, and i can't help but smile to myself at how crazy it is that they keep doing it over and over! There is humour in strange places in this universe :D
For example, someone will say or do something which is not meant to be hurtful to you, but for whatever reason, based on our past experiences and expectations, you feel hurt by it.
This course was about recognising that at that point, you're making choices about how you feel about something based on your filters. Therefore, you have a choice available to you. You can either feel hurt by making it mean something or you don't feel hurt by recognising it is just your meaning, so you don't take it onboard.
Recognising that whatever was happening to me in my life was being seen through my own filters formed from years of conditioning and self-meaning making, I was able to distance myself from the drama... and I'd had a long history of lots of it going on with my relationship with my parents, so it was a turning point for me and my relationship with them.
So while the drama for them goes on, and always will until they recognise that their freedom is available to them simply through their choosing it to be, I am able to sit, listen and find an energising stillness in choosing not to participate in their drama or conversations about drama. This is absolutely maddening to them, I'm sure they think I'm a nutter, but it's oddly humorous to me! There was a time when i would have felt i absolutely HAD to get my view across to them, and would have wanted to 'show them the light' to get them out of their drama cycle, but the thing is, it's all about timing, and they're simply not ready to give up what they get out of their drama, which is wallowing in the drama of drama! LOL!
So when drama arises with my parents, as it does every few weeks or so, I hear them getting into a frenzy and I am sitting calmly on the other end of the phone, detached from the drama but listening and marvelling at what a fantastic concoction of stress they've made for themselves, and i can't help but smile to myself at how crazy it is that they keep doing it over and over! There is humour in strange places in this universe :D
Friday, October 12, 2007
Clearing space and opening up
My house is a mess... particularly the computer room... not a good indication of my headspace but i actually do feel ok with the mess cos the alternative is to absolutely sweat it out in this messy hot room trying to find places to put things that we just don't have storage room for. Sure, that should mean a cull is in order... but I just did one a fortnight ago! A big one, for the council curbside clean up!
The whole cleared and cleaned out space thing is something that's in the forefront of my mind at the moment. Not so much in terms of clearing space in a house energy wise, but more about what a cleared space in a relationship allows to open up!
It's been 3 and a bit weeks since I've spoken to my sister, when we had a disagreement and she hung up on me, refusing to talk it out...
I have smsd her a couple of times since, telling her I really wanted to talk it through when she was ready, and that I'd be leaving it to her to contact me when she is ready to communicate about what we were in disagreement about.
So far I've heard nothing. We would usually speak to each other every day and catch up a few times a week at least.
At first I was so angry with good ol self righteousness and annoyance that she couldn't be bothered to have a real and open discussion with me about topics that were challenging to her.
Then after the anger dissipated, from out of the blue came all this cool and exciting energy and clarity, a sense of something new in the works, and of having more time than I usual felt i had...
From the space of letting go of the anger and accepting that my sister and I were just on different journeys and it just wasn't 'happening' for us right now, something amazing happened.
Doors have been opening EVERYWHERE... and I'm not even doing the knocking, it's all just falling into place in a beautifully intricate and magnificent way!
I'm renewing and embracing old friendships, and finding room in my life for new relationships, and instead of feeling stretched, I am feeling I have more and more to give to every individual in my life.
At the moment, I'm attributing this space for relationships as being mostly due to the cleared space left after deciding to have my sister play a far lesser role in my life, and I could never have imagined this would be the case... so it's a huge surprise for me, but a very welcome and exciting one!
In the past weeks, months, years, I had been avoiding new people entering my life to some degree, and also limiting what time I had available for people in my life... all except for my sister. She was the big exception to this previously unacknowledged rule, and I really had unlimited time and energy I was willing to invest in my relationship with her.
For years, Jase has been saying "you need to get yourself some good girlfriends, girls you can hang out with, who have your back and you have theirs and who'll give you support when you need it and vice versa"... I have always responded with the same answer "Why would i spend time and energy building relationships with other women when i get everything i need from my sister?"
Well, the reality was, my sister simply wasn't filling the shoes of a good friend. She hasn't been supportive of me, and she's largely uninterested in playing a role in my life unless I am single and childfree.
She wants nothing to do with me in my role as a mother or a wife, but the reality is, both of those things are at the core of my daily existence, as I have a husband, and i have children, so it is central to who I am. I have been in such a lot of conflict and out of alignment in my relationship with her for such a long time now. The good periods are great, but they always involve me demanding time out from Jase and the kids to have the time to spend with my sister. There have been times where I have desperately needed her support and she simply was not there.
I had closed myself off to friends and potential friends while putting all my energy and hopes into what our relationship could be... and put all my eggs in one basket it would seem.
I'm not angry with my sister for being the person she is. I'm not holding grudges and there's no bitterness. I've simply accepted that it just is the way it is. It's her journey to be doing her thing, and this is mine, and for the moment, we're miles and miles apart. So, I have found peace with having a hiatus in my relationship with her for the time being. I'm not closing any doors, but I'm not going knocking for a while... and I am embracing all the secret trapdoors and doors concealed behind overgrown and untended gardens that are suddenly becoming apparent to me through this new level of vision I am now experiencing... Loving those clarity-goggles!
The whole cleared and cleaned out space thing is something that's in the forefront of my mind at the moment. Not so much in terms of clearing space in a house energy wise, but more about what a cleared space in a relationship allows to open up!
It's been 3 and a bit weeks since I've spoken to my sister, when we had a disagreement and she hung up on me, refusing to talk it out...
I have smsd her a couple of times since, telling her I really wanted to talk it through when she was ready, and that I'd be leaving it to her to contact me when she is ready to communicate about what we were in disagreement about.
So far I've heard nothing. We would usually speak to each other every day and catch up a few times a week at least.
At first I was so angry with good ol self righteousness and annoyance that she couldn't be bothered to have a real and open discussion with me about topics that were challenging to her.
Then after the anger dissipated, from out of the blue came all this cool and exciting energy and clarity, a sense of something new in the works, and of having more time than I usual felt i had...
From the space of letting go of the anger and accepting that my sister and I were just on different journeys and it just wasn't 'happening' for us right now, something amazing happened.
Doors have been opening EVERYWHERE... and I'm not even doing the knocking, it's all just falling into place in a beautifully intricate and magnificent way!
I'm renewing and embracing old friendships, and finding room in my life for new relationships, and instead of feeling stretched, I am feeling I have more and more to give to every individual in my life.
At the moment, I'm attributing this space for relationships as being mostly due to the cleared space left after deciding to have my sister play a far lesser role in my life, and I could never have imagined this would be the case... so it's a huge surprise for me, but a very welcome and exciting one!
In the past weeks, months, years, I had been avoiding new people entering my life to some degree, and also limiting what time I had available for people in my life... all except for my sister. She was the big exception to this previously unacknowledged rule, and I really had unlimited time and energy I was willing to invest in my relationship with her.
For years, Jase has been saying "you need to get yourself some good girlfriends, girls you can hang out with, who have your back and you have theirs and who'll give you support when you need it and vice versa"... I have always responded with the same answer "Why would i spend time and energy building relationships with other women when i get everything i need from my sister?"
Well, the reality was, my sister simply wasn't filling the shoes of a good friend. She hasn't been supportive of me, and she's largely uninterested in playing a role in my life unless I am single and childfree.
She wants nothing to do with me in my role as a mother or a wife, but the reality is, both of those things are at the core of my daily existence, as I have a husband, and i have children, so it is central to who I am. I have been in such a lot of conflict and out of alignment in my relationship with her for such a long time now. The good periods are great, but they always involve me demanding time out from Jase and the kids to have the time to spend with my sister. There have been times where I have desperately needed her support and she simply was not there.
I had closed myself off to friends and potential friends while putting all my energy and hopes into what our relationship could be... and put all my eggs in one basket it would seem.
I'm not angry with my sister for being the person she is. I'm not holding grudges and there's no bitterness. I've simply accepted that it just is the way it is. It's her journey to be doing her thing, and this is mine, and for the moment, we're miles and miles apart. So, I have found peace with having a hiatus in my relationship with her for the time being. I'm not closing any doors, but I'm not going knocking for a while... and I am embracing all the secret trapdoors and doors concealed behind overgrown and untended gardens that are suddenly becoming apparent to me through this new level of vision I am now experiencing... Loving those clarity-goggles!
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Buoyed
I'm finding myself in an elevated state of bliss at the moment...
I am REALLY enjoying the last trimester of this pregnancy, and almost feel a little saddened as each day passes and I know it's drawing to an end. Even though I still have a while to go, it does just go too fast.
It's such a beautiful gift to be able to grow and birth a baby - and I know with my last two babies I was never in the headspace to really enjoy the third trimester. I was too busy working and pushing myself to the limit doing everything that absolutely 'needed' to be done in a day... but this time, I'm really stopping to smell the flowers along the way, particularly now as I'm so obviously pregnant... because when I go somewhere and people stare (or occasionally gawk) at my waddle and belly, it reminds me to think of my current state and it always brings a smile to my face. It's so easy to grow complacent with the miracle going on within when it's such a gradual process of growth that it becomes your 'norm' and it just becomes who you are.
I'm becoming very protective of my state of bliss, and dedicated to maintaining its course... to the point where I am really getting serious about consciously deflecting negativity when it arises, and also deflecting people who aren't on the same track as me. This gets really tough when it is sometimes close family members who are the bubble bursters, as I am going to always have them in my life in some capacity, but I'm learning to create such a strong force of light around me that it's an unpoppable bubble :D Pretty fun imagery picturing people around me poking at me with barbs and needles and me in the middle of a big fat bubble smiling away like i'm in a marshmallow man suit. LOL!
So I'm focussing on and loving the bliss in being Buoyed, and having people and experiences in my life that buoy me above my normal level of happiness. It's not a case of my needing to have the buoyancy, but it is certainly a pleasant way to be, not only adding to my experience of life, but also adding to the quality of what I can contribute to others' lives while I have such a surplus of happy vibes.
I am REALLY enjoying the last trimester of this pregnancy, and almost feel a little saddened as each day passes and I know it's drawing to an end. Even though I still have a while to go, it does just go too fast.
It's such a beautiful gift to be able to grow and birth a baby - and I know with my last two babies I was never in the headspace to really enjoy the third trimester. I was too busy working and pushing myself to the limit doing everything that absolutely 'needed' to be done in a day... but this time, I'm really stopping to smell the flowers along the way, particularly now as I'm so obviously pregnant... because when I go somewhere and people stare (or occasionally gawk) at my waddle and belly, it reminds me to think of my current state and it always brings a smile to my face. It's so easy to grow complacent with the miracle going on within when it's such a gradual process of growth that it becomes your 'norm' and it just becomes who you are.
I'm becoming very protective of my state of bliss, and dedicated to maintaining its course... to the point where I am really getting serious about consciously deflecting negativity when it arises, and also deflecting people who aren't on the same track as me. This gets really tough when it is sometimes close family members who are the bubble bursters, as I am going to always have them in my life in some capacity, but I'm learning to create such a strong force of light around me that it's an unpoppable bubble :D Pretty fun imagery picturing people around me poking at me with barbs and needles and me in the middle of a big fat bubble smiling away like i'm in a marshmallow man suit. LOL!
So I'm focussing on and loving the bliss in being Buoyed, and having people and experiences in my life that buoy me above my normal level of happiness. It's not a case of my needing to have the buoyancy, but it is certainly a pleasant way to be, not only adding to my experience of life, but also adding to the quality of what I can contribute to others' lives while I have such a surplus of happy vibes.
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Inspired
I'm thinking I'll do a new theme each day for a while to use as a focus point for my day. Today's theme is INSPIRED!
So many people inspire me on a daily basis, and I'm taking stock at the moment and want to stop and appreciate the influence of a few special people in my life right now.
My soul sister Amy.
I love you babe. Words aren't enough to express how grateful i am for having found you this lifetime and at this point in my life.
I know we fill in the gaps for each other in so many ways, but we can do in many more ways if we can both get over our struggle with calling on each other for help! :D
I'm inspired by your generosity and willingness to give of yourself to everyone around you, sometimes to your own detriment.
My heart aches for you when you're sad or hurting, and all I want for you is a perpetual state of joy and the happiness you deserve. You're such a beautiful, gifted soul and I want you to get that tattooed on you somewhere! LOL!
I don't know exactly how we'll get there but want you to know my intention is there to make sure you get there with me, and I know you have the same plans for me, so thank you for being that person for me too.
Thank you for filling the gap in my life with your light and wisdom, and for always being willing to go out of your way for me. I'm so lucky to have you as my sister! Thank you for finding me!
Jojo from VB...
A lapse in contact over the last four years melted away to nothing last Saturday night. I am so thrilled to see what wonderful things you're attracting into your life and feel honoured to be a part of your journey through your sharing it with me. Along the ups and downs, it's a true goddess that comes out finding the positive, and you're absolutely glowing in goddess-ness my friend... The way things are unfolding in your life right now are testimony to that!
The dolphins are going to love you and I can't wait to see you go from strength to strength with all the new elements you're adding to your life. You're having a wonderful time cooking up a storm in the kitchen of life and it's a joy to be a part of it!
Carmen...
Although we don't catch up in real life enough, you're very special to me. I love our late night chats and love that I don't think there is a thing in the world i could say to you that you couldn't outshock me with LOL! You inspire me with your energy for living how you want to with your kids, as a single mama... that takes energy and commitment and I admire that in you. I am also inspired by your positivity time and time again at whatever life throws at you. You're one special mama and you have one special job here this lifetime!
Fay from across the way...
BIRTH GODDESS... is all i can say! You fell short of your plan to stay pregnant for 365 days but hey, I'm not going to put you down for the effort you took to make it as close to that as possible! Your little man is divine, can't wait to hear more.
I love the bond we share despite living so far away and despite the fact we've never even met in real life. You're a very precious friend to me. Didn't we start chatting online over a mutual fascination with schoolboy humour? hehe! Now that I've said all this nice stuff about you, will you come to my blessingway? hehe!!
So many people inspire me on a daily basis, and I'm taking stock at the moment and want to stop and appreciate the influence of a few special people in my life right now.
My soul sister Amy.
I love you babe. Words aren't enough to express how grateful i am for having found you this lifetime and at this point in my life.
I know we fill in the gaps for each other in so many ways, but we can do in many more ways if we can both get over our struggle with calling on each other for help! :D
I'm inspired by your generosity and willingness to give of yourself to everyone around you, sometimes to your own detriment.
My heart aches for you when you're sad or hurting, and all I want for you is a perpetual state of joy and the happiness you deserve. You're such a beautiful, gifted soul and I want you to get that tattooed on you somewhere! LOL!
I don't know exactly how we'll get there but want you to know my intention is there to make sure you get there with me, and I know you have the same plans for me, so thank you for being that person for me too.
Thank you for filling the gap in my life with your light and wisdom, and for always being willing to go out of your way for me. I'm so lucky to have you as my sister! Thank you for finding me!
Jojo from VB...
A lapse in contact over the last four years melted away to nothing last Saturday night. I am so thrilled to see what wonderful things you're attracting into your life and feel honoured to be a part of your journey through your sharing it with me. Along the ups and downs, it's a true goddess that comes out finding the positive, and you're absolutely glowing in goddess-ness my friend... The way things are unfolding in your life right now are testimony to that!
The dolphins are going to love you and I can't wait to see you go from strength to strength with all the new elements you're adding to your life. You're having a wonderful time cooking up a storm in the kitchen of life and it's a joy to be a part of it!
Carmen...
Although we don't catch up in real life enough, you're very special to me. I love our late night chats and love that I don't think there is a thing in the world i could say to you that you couldn't outshock me with LOL! You inspire me with your energy for living how you want to with your kids, as a single mama... that takes energy and commitment and I admire that in you. I am also inspired by your positivity time and time again at whatever life throws at you. You're one special mama and you have one special job here this lifetime!
Fay from across the way...
BIRTH GODDESS... is all i can say! You fell short of your plan to stay pregnant for 365 days but hey, I'm not going to put you down for the effort you took to make it as close to that as possible! Your little man is divine, can't wait to hear more.
I love the bond we share despite living so far away and despite the fact we've never even met in real life. You're a very precious friend to me. Didn't we start chatting online over a mutual fascination with schoolboy humour? hehe! Now that I've said all this nice stuff about you, will you come to my blessingway? hehe!!
chocolate cake with "pwinkles"
We made a chocolate cake with "Pwinkles" today. Had to improvise a little cos there wasn't any icing sugar left and chocolate cake NEEDS chocolate icing right! So we used caster sugar which i tried to melt with boiling water first with mixed results, but overall icing is icing!
Julian had an executive role in the icing and "Pwinkling" of the cake.
Nothing left in their plates at the end... or mine :D
Julian had an executive role in the icing and "Pwinkling" of the cake.
Nothing left in their plates at the end... or mine :D
The Empress
My card for yesterday... (taken from facebook)
The Empress
She embodies all that is nurturing, clean and wholesome. Her powers resonate from her drive to create and care for life on a grand scale. She is in tune with Nature’s rhythm and realizes that life’s most pleasurable moments often stem from the simplest things. She is not afraid to enjoy herself and let loose, even to the point of being lavish. Abundance and luxury are important to her. The Empress is completely comfortable with her femininity and her sexuality. She is sensual, earthy, generous and likes the good life. Still, her driving force is a need to create and nurture, and fulfilling this need overrides everything else.
This is spot on for me and the day i had yesterday!
I splashed out and had a pregnancy massage from a complete earth angel... and an unexpected one at that!
A couple of weeks ago, I was referred to go to a 'pregnancy massage guru' and got a spot with him for yesterday. That in itself was lucky as from what I understand, he mainly teaches massage and doesn't do all that many himself.
I arrived at 1:30pm for a 1-1.5hr massage. We got talking about EVERYTHING and i ended up leaving just before 4:30pm! Wow is all i can say... not just about the massage though! I'm thrilled to have this man come into my life, and don't know how meeting him will impact on my journey but know there's something hatching.. and get this... He's a massage therapist of 10yrs who teaches all walks of massage, he's a counsellor, a qualified beauty therapist, a brazillian waxing instructor and most amazing to me... drumroll... he is a DOULA! WOW! We were on the same page completely with regard to women/pregnancy/birth/spirituality and it was such a JOY being around his energy and chatting with him about all we were both passionate about. Was one of those conversations that whenever it ended it was going to be too soon.
The massage was completely sublime too! lol! At the end of the massage, he placed one hand on my heart and the other on my belly. I felt a pulling sensation from my heart and he said "Your heart chakra is buzzing so beautifully". I queried what he was doing to make my heart have that pulling sensation and he said he was connecting my heart chakra energy to my baby. Bub responded with a couple of kicks... just beautiful stuff.
I left there feeling so Feminine, Powerful and Honoured and really aware of how much I need to stay present to and enjoy each moment of this pregnancy... rather than letting it go on auto pilot like i do at times. Each moment of creation is a blessing and i have a renewed sense of gratitude for the role I am playing as a nurturer in my baby's life.
So my focus today is Honouring and being appreciative of this power. I am grateful for the way so many things going on in my life right now are related to birth and women and creation... and the people in my life are all connected to this part of my 'being'. Thank you angels!
The Empress
She embodies all that is nurturing, clean and wholesome. Her powers resonate from her drive to create and care for life on a grand scale. She is in tune with Nature’s rhythm and realizes that life’s most pleasurable moments often stem from the simplest things. She is not afraid to enjoy herself and let loose, even to the point of being lavish. Abundance and luxury are important to her. The Empress is completely comfortable with her femininity and her sexuality. She is sensual, earthy, generous and likes the good life. Still, her driving force is a need to create and nurture, and fulfilling this need overrides everything else.
This is spot on for me and the day i had yesterday!
I splashed out and had a pregnancy massage from a complete earth angel... and an unexpected one at that!
A couple of weeks ago, I was referred to go to a 'pregnancy massage guru' and got a spot with him for yesterday. That in itself was lucky as from what I understand, he mainly teaches massage and doesn't do all that many himself.
I arrived at 1:30pm for a 1-1.5hr massage. We got talking about EVERYTHING and i ended up leaving just before 4:30pm! Wow is all i can say... not just about the massage though! I'm thrilled to have this man come into my life, and don't know how meeting him will impact on my journey but know there's something hatching.. and get this... He's a massage therapist of 10yrs who teaches all walks of massage, he's a counsellor, a qualified beauty therapist, a brazillian waxing instructor and most amazing to me... drumroll... he is a DOULA! WOW! We were on the same page completely with regard to women/pregnancy/birth/spirituality and it was such a JOY being around his energy and chatting with him about all we were both passionate about. Was one of those conversations that whenever it ended it was going to be too soon.
The massage was completely sublime too! lol! At the end of the massage, he placed one hand on my heart and the other on my belly. I felt a pulling sensation from my heart and he said "Your heart chakra is buzzing so beautifully". I queried what he was doing to make my heart have that pulling sensation and he said he was connecting my heart chakra energy to my baby. Bub responded with a couple of kicks... just beautiful stuff.
I left there feeling so Feminine, Powerful and Honoured and really aware of how much I need to stay present to and enjoy each moment of this pregnancy... rather than letting it go on auto pilot like i do at times. Each moment of creation is a blessing and i have a renewed sense of gratitude for the role I am playing as a nurturer in my baby's life.
So my focus today is Honouring and being appreciative of this power. I am grateful for the way so many things going on in my life right now are related to birth and women and creation... and the people in my life are all connected to this part of my 'being'. Thank you angels!
Thursday, October 4, 2007
I'm going to have a Blessingway
Buzzing about the idea... now hatching what it will encompass! Joy! Bliss! Celebrations! Rituals! Connections! Spirituality! Sharing!
Sunday, September 23, 2007
nesting and baby evils
I am a non-ironer. As in, I don't buy stuff that needs ironing and will wear something semi crushed without being bothered. The only thing I do iron is Jase's shirts for work. That is why I am struck with the realisation that what i did yesterday could only be described as nesting.
I got every pillow case we own out of the linen cupboard, (reorganised the linen cupboard while i was at it), and then proceeded to iron every one. Not just flat, but ironing the folds in too. Perhaps 40 of them? A little excessive I know... they've been multiplying while hiding in my nightmarish mess of a linen cupboard... but no more! They've been outed and pressed and now my linen cupboard is looking sublime :D
Today we went to a birthday party for a friend who turned 2. Got lots of pics but just love this one of Te Aroha.
My lil tomboy looking girly girl is giving such baby evils... she's a character. She's wearing an outfit I made for her too - well, I made the skirt and appliqued a heart in matching fabric onto a blue shirt of Julian's and it just so happens to go well with her Dora hat, so she's also colour coordinated. Something I struggle to manage :D
I got every pillow case we own out of the linen cupboard, (reorganised the linen cupboard while i was at it), and then proceeded to iron every one. Not just flat, but ironing the folds in too. Perhaps 40 of them? A little excessive I know... they've been multiplying while hiding in my nightmarish mess of a linen cupboard... but no more! They've been outed and pressed and now my linen cupboard is looking sublime :D
Today we went to a birthday party for a friend who turned 2. Got lots of pics but just love this one of Te Aroha.
My lil tomboy looking girly girl is giving such baby evils... she's a character. She's wearing an outfit I made for her too - well, I made the skirt and appliqued a heart in matching fabric onto a blue shirt of Julian's and it just so happens to go well with her Dora hat, so she's also colour coordinated. Something I struggle to manage :D
Friday, September 14, 2007
My journey so far
I believe we're all spiritual beings occupying a physical body BUT some of us know it, some of don't know it (or don't remember it yet?) and some of us choose not to think about the connection (perhaps to stay grounded in the physical experience we've chosen to venture on).
I consider myself to be very spiritually aware... but until a few days ago, I considered this a fairly fresh and recent development in my life, brought about by my becoming a mother.
A week ago, something pretty crazy but cool happened to me, which I will post about some other time, but it that made me reflect on my life so far and all of a sudden I was struck by how odd things I did early on in my life were very spiritually based.
When i was old enough to swim (about 6 or 7) I didn't swim in the pool like the other kids... I did this 'weird' but unbelievably relaxing thing where I'd do laps and laps of the pool with my legs in lotus position of all things! I'd start at the shallow end (of a home pool so it wasn't all that deep) and let myself sink to the bottom while exhaling with my eyes closed, and then I'd use my hands to propel myself upwards and forward a little bit to get a breath of air before continuing with my exhales and inhales for the length of the pool, then back and forth for many laps.
I absolutely loved being in the water and doing this, and like all kids, I'd spend hours in the pool, regardless of whether it was hot enough to swim or not doing this odd 'exercise' for hours every day through most of spring and summer. I have only just realised that what I was doing was a form of meditation and that the way I was regulating my breathing was facilitating a bodily connection to my soul.
At many times when I felt misunderstood by or upset with my parents, I can remember longing to be in the pool, just chilling out doing my laps! I thought I liked swimming, but really it was an escape that obviously relaxed and centred me. I can even remember the first weeks of swimming each year, and how hard it would be hard to maintain the lotus position for the hours of laps I wanted to do because I was out of practice... What a weird kid hey!
Added to this odd way of passing time, I also found a great deal of pleasure doing headstands! I first practised doing headstands with a pillow for my head to rest on, and I'd then push my legs up so they lined up with the wall for support. Gradually I developed the balance and strength required to stay in the pose for 20 minutes or more... and at this point moved away from a wall did my headstands with a small cushion without any supporting walls for my legs... and instead of doing standard headstands with the legs fully extended, I'd put my legs in the lotus position first and then do the headstand! I guess at this time I would have been about 9 or 10. What an odd kid, hey? It's no wonder my parents never 'got' me!
The lotus position and headstand exercise weren't the only yoga exercises I'd do... although at the time i didn't know they were yoga. I had found a diet / good health type book of my mum's which had photos of some exercises for flexibility in it, and the depictions of various yoga poses were the ones i picked to learn.
There's the first instalment of my reflecting on my journey so far. There's more to come so stay tuned :D
I consider myself to be very spiritually aware... but until a few days ago, I considered this a fairly fresh and recent development in my life, brought about by my becoming a mother.
A week ago, something pretty crazy but cool happened to me, which I will post about some other time, but it that made me reflect on my life so far and all of a sudden I was struck by how odd things I did early on in my life were very spiritually based.
When i was old enough to swim (about 6 or 7) I didn't swim in the pool like the other kids... I did this 'weird' but unbelievably relaxing thing where I'd do laps and laps of the pool with my legs in lotus position of all things! I'd start at the shallow end (of a home pool so it wasn't all that deep) and let myself sink to the bottom while exhaling with my eyes closed, and then I'd use my hands to propel myself upwards and forward a little bit to get a breath of air before continuing with my exhales and inhales for the length of the pool, then back and forth for many laps.
I absolutely loved being in the water and doing this, and like all kids, I'd spend hours in the pool, regardless of whether it was hot enough to swim or not doing this odd 'exercise' for hours every day through most of spring and summer. I have only just realised that what I was doing was a form of meditation and that the way I was regulating my breathing was facilitating a bodily connection to my soul.
At many times when I felt misunderstood by or upset with my parents, I can remember longing to be in the pool, just chilling out doing my laps! I thought I liked swimming, but really it was an escape that obviously relaxed and centred me. I can even remember the first weeks of swimming each year, and how hard it would be hard to maintain the lotus position for the hours of laps I wanted to do because I was out of practice... What a weird kid hey!
Added to this odd way of passing time, I also found a great deal of pleasure doing headstands! I first practised doing headstands with a pillow for my head to rest on, and I'd then push my legs up so they lined up with the wall for support. Gradually I developed the balance and strength required to stay in the pose for 20 minutes or more... and at this point moved away from a wall did my headstands with a small cushion without any supporting walls for my legs... and instead of doing standard headstands with the legs fully extended, I'd put my legs in the lotus position first and then do the headstand! I guess at this time I would have been about 9 or 10. What an odd kid, hey? It's no wonder my parents never 'got' me!
The lotus position and headstand exercise weren't the only yoga exercises I'd do... although at the time i didn't know they were yoga. I had found a diet / good health type book of my mum's which had photos of some exercises for flexibility in it, and the depictions of various yoga poses were the ones i picked to learn.
There's the first instalment of my reflecting on my journey so far. There's more to come so stay tuned :D
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Hilarious!
Found a very funny ebay auction linked to on another blog and the description is hysterical! Read it here.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Birth birth birth
This story made my day!
I am on a big birth tangent at the moment.
My friend gave birth to her second baby girl yesterday - she was born at home, into water and into her mumma's arms. What a beautiful and precious way to start life. This is the second friend of mine to birth this way in the past month... I'm so thrilled for them both and their families of course!
A bit over a year ago I participated in a research group discussion related to the spirituality of birth and menstruation and today I just received an email of the finished report.
It has blown me away reading over what I said in regards to my two experiences of birth and what they have each meant to me. I guess I just forget it most of the time, but my birth experience with Julian shaped me so much into who i am today...
I am going to ask for permission to post some of it on my blog. It is so central to my journey as an earthy spiritual mama.
I will update later if I get the ok.
I am on a big birth tangent at the moment.
My friend gave birth to her second baby girl yesterday - she was born at home, into water and into her mumma's arms. What a beautiful and precious way to start life. This is the second friend of mine to birth this way in the past month... I'm so thrilled for them both and their families of course!
A bit over a year ago I participated in a research group discussion related to the spirituality of birth and menstruation and today I just received an email of the finished report.
It has blown me away reading over what I said in regards to my two experiences of birth and what they have each meant to me. I guess I just forget it most of the time, but my birth experience with Julian shaped me so much into who i am today...
I am going to ask for permission to post some of it on my blog. It is so central to my journey as an earthy spiritual mama.
I will update later if I get the ok.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Marrying my 4yo
Well... I'm no longer in Julian's sights as a potential future wife (phew!) but the way he told me today was fairly unexpected!
We were sitting at the exit to the shopping centre waiting for Jase and TA to return and he didn't want to sit next to me on the bench...
I teased him and said "Don't you want to sit next to me? I thought you wanted to marry me, the least you could do is sit next to me!"
to which he replied (laughing at me and shaking his head!) "Nooooooo, I don't want to marry you!"
"Oh you don't want to marry me anymore? How come?"
"It's disgusting!"
I was laughing too at this point thinking he'd worked out that the idea of marrying his own mum was a bit out of the question...
"Is it cos I'm your mum that it's disgusting?"
"No mum... MARRYING is disgusting!" as in, my son thinks it's gross for a guy and a girl to hold hands or kiss. He often says YUCK when Jase and I kiss, even a quick peck.
He went on to elaborate that marrying is for bum bums.
It just cracks me up that our conversations are like this already. I had no idea it would start so early.
We were sitting at the exit to the shopping centre waiting for Jase and TA to return and he didn't want to sit next to me on the bench...
I teased him and said "Don't you want to sit next to me? I thought you wanted to marry me, the least you could do is sit next to me!"
to which he replied (laughing at me and shaking his head!) "Nooooooo, I don't want to marry you!"
"Oh you don't want to marry me anymore? How come?"
"It's disgusting!"
I was laughing too at this point thinking he'd worked out that the idea of marrying his own mum was a bit out of the question...
"Is it cos I'm your mum that it's disgusting?"
"No mum... MARRYING is disgusting!" as in, my son thinks it's gross for a guy and a girl to hold hands or kiss. He often says YUCK when Jase and I kiss, even a quick peck.
He went on to elaborate that marrying is for bum bums.
It just cracks me up that our conversations are like this already. I had no idea it would start so early.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Daycare and a homeschooling revelation
Further to my homeschooling post, today an opportunity in disguise presented itself.
The new daycare was officially notified as of 530pm this afternoon that the kids are being pulled out. To cut a long story short, Jase went to get them this afternoon and when he got there, there were 15 kids sitting on a mat looking scared... being "supervised" and yelled at by a single carer telling them to stay on the mat. You don't need to be a brain surgeon to figure that doesn't sit right with us OR regulations... so, we had a chat to Julian about whether he liked the "new school" or "Kimmy's school" as he refers to the other one. He has always said he liked the new one more, until today when he told us he likes Kimmy's one because the teachers are nicer and I have to say we agree.
I called the ABC centre and gave notice and then called our old daycare where we feel so much love and really feel spoilt in comparison, and I told the director there I'd like to book the kids in for Monday and keep their Wednesday and that we'd somehow find a way to get there without a car.
I thought I'd like Julian to attend daycare 3 days a week, but they are chockers on all days except Monday and Wednesday so it wasn't an option. I was initially disappointed but settled for being on the waiting list for a third day for him and then WHAMMO got one of those little lightning bolt moments of clarity.
Here i was trying to get him into a place designed for preparing kids for school when just a couple of posts ago I was talking about staring a homeschool journey. Go figure! I 'got' what an opportunity I could make of that day with him, rather than putting him into daycare for the extra day. So I'm stoked that it crept up on me and I realised it and am stoked for what i believe is yet another blessing in disguise.
Following this, I spoke to a friend of ours tonight who "officially" starts homeschooling his son next year. We talked about the importance of having an environment for kids to learn in in a collective type set up with other children (not age specific, but just in relation to learning social responsibilities) rather than having it occur in an isolated, age specific or individual setting.
I love discussing educational philosophy, so our chats about schools and deschooling are always a joy for me.
If I think about it, I really began having an interest in deschooling and homeschooling just over 8yrs ago when studying to be a teacher. I realised pretty early in my degree that I definitely didn't want to teach in a school environment as I didn't subscribe to institutionalised learning environments. I decided that even though I wouldn't teach in a school setting, I'd still do the degree so I could at least feel 'qualified' to teach my own kids should I want to. (I'm still 5 subjects away from completing that degree I should add.. but I have decided I don't need to be qualified with a degree in order to teach my kids... it's what we do before school starts and before the school day and after school anyway!)
Anyway, back to talking to my friend...
I told him that I think we're ready to embark on the homeschooling journey too... and that I'm still in an information gathering phase... deciding if i want to follow a curriculum or not, and that while I'm excited about all the opportunities it presents, I'm also a bit scared of the responsibility involved!
I told him we'd be more than willing to team up with him and his wife to share resources and responsibilities with our kids beginning next year.
To top it off, he also manages our local kohanga reo - which is a Maori culture and language pre-school. The kohanga is only a suburb away from us, and he's hoping to have 2 days a week at the kohanga as part of the 'curriculum' for his son and any other kids who attend. I told him we're interested in teaming up for sharing responsibilities to make it a collaborative type arrangement.. so watch this space!
The new daycare was officially notified as of 530pm this afternoon that the kids are being pulled out. To cut a long story short, Jase went to get them this afternoon and when he got there, there were 15 kids sitting on a mat looking scared... being "supervised" and yelled at by a single carer telling them to stay on the mat. You don't need to be a brain surgeon to figure that doesn't sit right with us OR regulations... so, we had a chat to Julian about whether he liked the "new school" or "Kimmy's school" as he refers to the other one. He has always said he liked the new one more, until today when he told us he likes Kimmy's one because the teachers are nicer and I have to say we agree.
I called the ABC centre and gave notice and then called our old daycare where we feel so much love and really feel spoilt in comparison, and I told the director there I'd like to book the kids in for Monday and keep their Wednesday and that we'd somehow find a way to get there without a car.
I thought I'd like Julian to attend daycare 3 days a week, but they are chockers on all days except Monday and Wednesday so it wasn't an option. I was initially disappointed but settled for being on the waiting list for a third day for him and then WHAMMO got one of those little lightning bolt moments of clarity.
Here i was trying to get him into a place designed for preparing kids for school when just a couple of posts ago I was talking about staring a homeschool journey. Go figure! I 'got' what an opportunity I could make of that day with him, rather than putting him into daycare for the extra day. So I'm stoked that it crept up on me and I realised it and am stoked for what i believe is yet another blessing in disguise.
Following this, I spoke to a friend of ours tonight who "officially" starts homeschooling his son next year. We talked about the importance of having an environment for kids to learn in in a collective type set up with other children (not age specific, but just in relation to learning social responsibilities) rather than having it occur in an isolated, age specific or individual setting.
I love discussing educational philosophy, so our chats about schools and deschooling are always a joy for me.
If I think about it, I really began having an interest in deschooling and homeschooling just over 8yrs ago when studying to be a teacher. I realised pretty early in my degree that I definitely didn't want to teach in a school environment as I didn't subscribe to institutionalised learning environments. I decided that even though I wouldn't teach in a school setting, I'd still do the degree so I could at least feel 'qualified' to teach my own kids should I want to. (I'm still 5 subjects away from completing that degree I should add.. but I have decided I don't need to be qualified with a degree in order to teach my kids... it's what we do before school starts and before the school day and after school anyway!)
Anyway, back to talking to my friend...
I told him that I think we're ready to embark on the homeschooling journey too... and that I'm still in an information gathering phase... deciding if i want to follow a curriculum or not, and that while I'm excited about all the opportunities it presents, I'm also a bit scared of the responsibility involved!
I told him we'd be more than willing to team up with him and his wife to share resources and responsibilities with our kids beginning next year.
To top it off, he also manages our local kohanga reo - which is a Maori culture and language pre-school. The kohanga is only a suburb away from us, and he's hoping to have 2 days a week at the kohanga as part of the 'curriculum' for his son and any other kids who attend. I told him we're interested in teaming up for sharing responsibilities to make it a collaborative type arrangement.. so watch this space!
A princess and a king
Julian comes out with real beauties every now and then, and this is his latest...
"Mum, when i get bigger and bigger (i.e. grow up), I'm going to marry you. (insert shy little boy giggles) I'm going to be the king and you are a princess... and when it's your birthday, I'm going to go to the shop with Daddy and get you heaps and heaps and heaps of princess toys cos I love you"
I just LOVE our conversations and the angles he comes from at times. So unexpected and so sweet.
"Mum, when i get bigger and bigger (i.e. grow up), I'm going to marry you. (insert shy little boy giggles) I'm going to be the king and you are a princess... and when it's your birthday, I'm going to go to the shop with Daddy and get you heaps and heaps and heaps of princess toys cos I love you"
I just LOVE our conversations and the angles he comes from at times. So unexpected and so sweet.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
We went on a bear hunt! What a beautiful day!
This morning was the first morning it hasn't been raining when I have taken the kids to their new daycare centre around the corner. It is roughly 400 steps from our door and the fact there wasn't rain made it so exciting to get shoes on, get bags packed and get out the door.
We grabbed our apples to munch on the way, grabbed each others hands and revelled in a lovely leisurely walk in the sunshine to school. It's been so dry here that all the rain has brought a big change to the scenery. We stopped to admire new flowers and buds (the fairies were all hiding unfortunately) and sang "We're going on a bear hunt" all the way, swishing loudly through short but very green grass and occasionally hopping like frogs. Such simple pleasures and such a nice start to the day.
The other day, I realised just what it was that has shifted in terms of me enjoying being at home with the kids lately too. It is to do with getting out of the house and into a car. I hate it! It is such a struggle to coordinate and actually get them out the door and into their car seats without telling them the same thing over and over like a record player. Since we haven't had a car, we just don't deal with that anymore! It's been such a huge relief and i had no idea just how much i hated getting the kids into and out of the car. I know where it comes from too - it's that whole notion of when you're in a rush, everyone else seems to be going soooooo slowly!
So when we do get a car again, whenever that may be, I am going to really focus on shifting that attitude towards getting out in a hurry and see what happens. It would be so nice to be relaxed to go out, the same way we were this morning before our walk. Awareness is the first step to being free of something so hopefully I'm on my way.
We grabbed our apples to munch on the way, grabbed each others hands and revelled in a lovely leisurely walk in the sunshine to school. It's been so dry here that all the rain has brought a big change to the scenery. We stopped to admire new flowers and buds (the fairies were all hiding unfortunately) and sang "We're going on a bear hunt" all the way, swishing loudly through short but very green grass and occasionally hopping like frogs. Such simple pleasures and such a nice start to the day.
The other day, I realised just what it was that has shifted in terms of me enjoying being at home with the kids lately too. It is to do with getting out of the house and into a car. I hate it! It is such a struggle to coordinate and actually get them out the door and into their car seats without telling them the same thing over and over like a record player. Since we haven't had a car, we just don't deal with that anymore! It's been such a huge relief and i had no idea just how much i hated getting the kids into and out of the car. I know where it comes from too - it's that whole notion of when you're in a rush, everyone else seems to be going soooooo slowly!
So when we do get a car again, whenever that may be, I am going to really focus on shifting that attitude towards getting out in a hurry and see what happens. It would be so nice to be relaxed to go out, the same way we were this morning before our walk. Awareness is the first step to being free of something so hopefully I'm on my way.
Monday, August 27, 2007
edge of some cool stuff and a recipe
I'm on the edge of something cool at the moment... it's a new phase I can feel myself moving in to and it's a new path self discovery I am so excited to venture on! Can't wait to see what pans out in the next few days and weeks.
I've been doing a lot of blog reading - blogs belonging particularly to midwives and I'm feeling an urge to go the doula path again.. and am thinking about just what sort of service I'd provide if I was to doula and I know I'd love to specialise in empowering women who have had traumatic previous birth experiences.
I'm also frequenting blogs dedicated to recycling items rahter than purchasing them new and am so inspired from what I'm finding that I am going through all my stuff to see what I can make and reuse.
I've also begun a new journey with my kids. It's funny how the timing works out, it's been RIGHT after all that blow up with my family. It's really put perspective on MY family and who I want to be to my kids.
I've dropped all notions of having to get this or that done, and am just in play mode. Not having a car has really helped this to progress cos we've been staying home, and rather than me running errands and towing the kids, everything we're doing together is so kid-centred as well.
We've been doing heaps of cooking. Both my kids love to cook, and i have for some time now let them stir and help make pancakes and what not... trusting their natural instincts to steer clear of the heat of the stove.
I'm enjoying their enjoyment and whether it's my new attitude to really including them in everything, or whether it's the age they're at (maybe a bit of both), every task is becoming such a lot of fun and it's feeling a lot like homeschooling... so that's another avenue I'm thinking about as well! Lots going on in my head, but all of it exciting, new and full of room for learning.
Aside from all that excitement, i wanted to post a recipe of sorts I used today. I made it up as I went and I don't know exact measures but know I'll forget it entirely this time next week if i don't record it... so here it is.
Zucchini, capsicum and red onion frittatas
Finely grate
3 zuccs
half a red capsicum
1 large red onion
heat olive oil in a pan and add veg and cook on low heat till soft. Add Trocomare (herbal salt) for flavouring.
Crack and beat 5 or 6 eggs in a bowl and slowly (so as not to cook the beaten eggs) add the cooked veg mixture and mix.
Add some sweet chilli sauce to the mix and a bit more trocomare and bit of curry powder.
Add some tasty cheese and mozarella to help bind the ingredients and then add breadcrumbs till the consistency is thick enough to hold together when dropped from a spoon onto a hot pan.
Heat the pan and add a bit of olive oil. Drop tablespoons of mix in the pan and make mini frittatas.
they were yum!
I've been doing a lot of blog reading - blogs belonging particularly to midwives and I'm feeling an urge to go the doula path again.. and am thinking about just what sort of service I'd provide if I was to doula and I know I'd love to specialise in empowering women who have had traumatic previous birth experiences.
I'm also frequenting blogs dedicated to recycling items rahter than purchasing them new and am so inspired from what I'm finding that I am going through all my stuff to see what I can make and reuse.
I've also begun a new journey with my kids. It's funny how the timing works out, it's been RIGHT after all that blow up with my family. It's really put perspective on MY family and who I want to be to my kids.
I've dropped all notions of having to get this or that done, and am just in play mode. Not having a car has really helped this to progress cos we've been staying home, and rather than me running errands and towing the kids, everything we're doing together is so kid-centred as well.
We've been doing heaps of cooking. Both my kids love to cook, and i have for some time now let them stir and help make pancakes and what not... trusting their natural instincts to steer clear of the heat of the stove.
I'm enjoying their enjoyment and whether it's my new attitude to really including them in everything, or whether it's the age they're at (maybe a bit of both), every task is becoming such a lot of fun and it's feeling a lot like homeschooling... so that's another avenue I'm thinking about as well! Lots going on in my head, but all of it exciting, new and full of room for learning.
Aside from all that excitement, i wanted to post a recipe of sorts I used today. I made it up as I went and I don't know exact measures but know I'll forget it entirely this time next week if i don't record it... so here it is.
Zucchini, capsicum and red onion frittatas
Finely grate
3 zuccs
half a red capsicum
1 large red onion
heat olive oil in a pan and add veg and cook on low heat till soft. Add Trocomare (herbal salt) for flavouring.
Crack and beat 5 or 6 eggs in a bowl and slowly (so as not to cook the beaten eggs) add the cooked veg mixture and mix.
Add some sweet chilli sauce to the mix and a bit more trocomare and bit of curry powder.
Add some tasty cheese and mozarella to help bind the ingredients and then add breadcrumbs till the consistency is thick enough to hold together when dropped from a spoon onto a hot pan.
Heat the pan and add a bit of olive oil. Drop tablespoons of mix in the pan and make mini frittatas.
they were yum!
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Affirmations
Found some wonderful Birth Affirmations in my webtravels today...
I love a lot of them, but this one stood out because it fits in with something I was thinking about yesterday...
"I now completely forgive the hospital staff and my parents for any mistakes they made at my own birth. It is now safe for me to let go completely."
One of my friends, Wendy, was telling me about a 'regression' session she had done for her, where someone traced her life from its first moments of conception onwards. She told me how she had discovered she hadn't actually been 'wanted' at the time her mum fell pregnant with her, and it made me remember my own mum telling me how she hadn't planned for me either... that i'd come before she'd planned to have children.
It hit home for me just how much this type of beginning can set a stage for the relationship between a child and parent, and how it affects every minute step of our lives. I can't believe i haven't recognised its relevance in my life before.
Like all lightbulb moments, it gave me a new understanding of why my relationship with my mum took the shape it did... from those very first moments.. and reading that affirmation gives me inspiration to let go of anything i've held onto consciously or subconsciously related to my own birth and my mum's pregnancy with me.
It is so powerful for children who feel disenfranchised from their parents to recognise the tiny and seemingly insignificant things that may piece together to contribute to 'the way things are' in their relationships, because it allows resentment, resistance and confusion (conscious or not), to be neutralised and cleared, and in that clearing a beautiful space for peace and understanding is revealed. :D
I love a lot of them, but this one stood out because it fits in with something I was thinking about yesterday...
"I now completely forgive the hospital staff and my parents for any mistakes they made at my own birth. It is now safe for me to let go completely."
One of my friends, Wendy, was telling me about a 'regression' session she had done for her, where someone traced her life from its first moments of conception onwards. She told me how she had discovered she hadn't actually been 'wanted' at the time her mum fell pregnant with her, and it made me remember my own mum telling me how she hadn't planned for me either... that i'd come before she'd planned to have children.
It hit home for me just how much this type of beginning can set a stage for the relationship between a child and parent, and how it affects every minute step of our lives. I can't believe i haven't recognised its relevance in my life before.
Like all lightbulb moments, it gave me a new understanding of why my relationship with my mum took the shape it did... from those very first moments.. and reading that affirmation gives me inspiration to let go of anything i've held onto consciously or subconsciously related to my own birth and my mum's pregnancy with me.
It is so powerful for children who feel disenfranchised from their parents to recognise the tiny and seemingly insignificant things that may piece together to contribute to 'the way things are' in their relationships, because it allows resentment, resistance and confusion (conscious or not), to be neutralised and cleared, and in that clearing a beautiful space for peace and understanding is revealed. :D
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
A beautiful day... soul therapy
Today was a long overdue catch up with my soul sista Amy. Love that girl.
We first met in a toy shop that i went to as much for the cool toys and books they stocked as to catch up with her. We immediately clicked and kept clicking each visit till we said let's catch up outside of the shop hehe.
We discovered many similarities in our lives and kept vowing to spend more time together but you know, life is busy. Both of us have kids and partners to tend to and there is all too often not much left in the tank after dishing ourselves out to those around us, so we have put it off so many times but today it actually happened.
We caught up in the morning - child-free, and spent the day having a late breakfast at a cafe with yummo soy decaf coffee followed by a flick - Amazing Grace. Gotta love girly days and wow I am refreshed :D
I am so grateful for having this earth angel in my life. Not enough of them around, but due to the fact they are such limited editions, i do treasure it so much more :D
We first met in a toy shop that i went to as much for the cool toys and books they stocked as to catch up with her. We immediately clicked and kept clicking each visit till we said let's catch up outside of the shop hehe.
We discovered many similarities in our lives and kept vowing to spend more time together but you know, life is busy. Both of us have kids and partners to tend to and there is all too often not much left in the tank after dishing ourselves out to those around us, so we have put it off so many times but today it actually happened.
We caught up in the morning - child-free, and spent the day having a late breakfast at a cafe with yummo soy decaf coffee followed by a flick - Amazing Grace. Gotta love girly days and wow I am refreshed :D
I am so grateful for having this earth angel in my life. Not enough of them around, but due to the fact they are such limited editions, i do treasure it so much more :D
Monday, August 20, 2007
ugh pregnancy hormones
I'm crying at everything and nothing at the moment. It's maddening!
I had a good idea just before... I thought i would go outside and wallow and cry in the mud that Julian has been having the best time in out there.... figured that would sort me out :D hehe
I had a good idea just before... I thought i would go outside and wallow and cry in the mud that Julian has been having the best time in out there.... figured that would sort me out :D hehe
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Betcha
i have this bub on Christmas Eve...or the early hours of Christmas day...
I'm due before then, but it's a full moon on Christmas Eve and I know that's a busy time at the birth suites so I'm putting my bets on xmas eve. :D
Julian was induced due to PROM, so nature didn't have a chance there... but TA was born 2 days after a full moon and i was laboring from about that time.
If you're interested, check the dates at
this site
and see if your babe's births and even your own and your parents' birthdays coincide with a full moon. To get back to older dates, follow this link
I'm due before then, but it's a full moon on Christmas Eve and I know that's a busy time at the birth suites so I'm putting my bets on xmas eve. :D
Julian was induced due to PROM, so nature didn't have a chance there... but TA was born 2 days after a full moon and i was laboring from about that time.
If you're interested, check the dates at
this site
and see if your babe's births and even your own and your parents' birthdays coincide with a full moon. To get back to older dates, follow this link
Friday, August 17, 2007
What am i missing here?
I'm trying to process something here cos i am feeling so empty right now.
This post is probably going to take the form of a vent based on how I'm feeling right now, but i want a good outcome and want that moment of clarity dammit :D... so hopefully through exploring what I'm feeling, it will relieve some of the sadness and confusion I feel right now.. and maybe I'll get some clarity - perhaps not today but when i read over this in a week or so.
The 'Problem'
My kids really want to spend time with my sister and my parents, yet to get that to happen is really hard work.
Both my parents and my sister are so caught up with being busy and filling their lives with 'stuff' that they give little or no priority to setting aside to spend with the kids.
I'm sure it's not even intentional, but time ticks away and they're taking the kids being here on this earth for granted.. they're waiting for that 'right' time when they do have the time, or if for instance, something happened where they suddenly got a new view of their priorities - like if one of the kids got really sick and was hospitalised or something.
It's just not good enough and it makes me feel sick... not in a disgusted way, but in a sad for my kids way. My kids deserve to be prioritised.
I could count on one hand the number of times they've spent time with my sister in the past few years. She lives a suburb away from us. I could also count on one hand the number of times she's been to our house to see them in the past year.
With my parents, at least they have a 'real' excuse of living in another state, so the lack of time the kids spend with my parents is understandable to a degree, but to get my parents to agree to a time for the kids to spend with them is nearly mission impossible.
Sure it's their choice what they do with their time and their lives, and it's their journey to go on, but what I really want clarity with is,
should I be exposing my kids to this when it's so empty, and should I be constantly setting myself up for disappointment through my dreams of having my family play an active role in my kids' lives?
I know it doesn't go unnoticed by the kids. They would be picking up on just how infrequently they see my sister or parents, and internalising it also in their own little way.
I cannot count the number of times my son has asked my sister if he can go to her place, or if she can come to ours, or if they can do something... and time and time again, she always has a reason that she can't. Always. As a result, my son hurts and then I feel hurt for him. I want him to have access to my family but it makes me not want to expose my kids to it at all so they don't have the constant disappointment of having no for an answer due to some pathetic excuse.
And excuses really are exactly that. If you have a reason or excuse for doing something or not doing something, you have created it, and you have the power to uncreate it... if you choose to.
Instead of my family seeking my kids out to see them and spend time with them, i have to just about force my kids onto them and I'm sick of it. I've had 4 years of it and want to at least not have such emotion attached to the whole situation.
I've gone through stages when I have resolved to make my visits to my sisters' less frequent, just so i don't have to pull out of her driveway with inconsolable kids who want to go in and see her but can't cos she's busy with something or other.
I don't know why i continuously set myself up and allow myself feel to feel disappointed by the lack of real interest shown to my kids by my family. I know it's not intentional and I know they do really love them.
I just can't get a breakthrough in my understanding in this area. No matter what angle I look at it from, my kids hurt, so I hurt.
This post is probably going to take the form of a vent based on how I'm feeling right now, but i want a good outcome and want that moment of clarity dammit :D... so hopefully through exploring what I'm feeling, it will relieve some of the sadness and confusion I feel right now.. and maybe I'll get some clarity - perhaps not today but when i read over this in a week or so.
The 'Problem'
My kids really want to spend time with my sister and my parents, yet to get that to happen is really hard work.
Both my parents and my sister are so caught up with being busy and filling their lives with 'stuff' that they give little or no priority to setting aside to spend with the kids.
I'm sure it's not even intentional, but time ticks away and they're taking the kids being here on this earth for granted.. they're waiting for that 'right' time when they do have the time, or if for instance, something happened where they suddenly got a new view of their priorities - like if one of the kids got really sick and was hospitalised or something.
It's just not good enough and it makes me feel sick... not in a disgusted way, but in a sad for my kids way. My kids deserve to be prioritised.
I could count on one hand the number of times they've spent time with my sister in the past few years. She lives a suburb away from us. I could also count on one hand the number of times she's been to our house to see them in the past year.
With my parents, at least they have a 'real' excuse of living in another state, so the lack of time the kids spend with my parents is understandable to a degree, but to get my parents to agree to a time for the kids to spend with them is nearly mission impossible.
Sure it's their choice what they do with their time and their lives, and it's their journey to go on, but what I really want clarity with is,
should I be exposing my kids to this when it's so empty, and should I be constantly setting myself up for disappointment through my dreams of having my family play an active role in my kids' lives?
I know it doesn't go unnoticed by the kids. They would be picking up on just how infrequently they see my sister or parents, and internalising it also in their own little way.
I cannot count the number of times my son has asked my sister if he can go to her place, or if she can come to ours, or if they can do something... and time and time again, she always has a reason that she can't. Always. As a result, my son hurts and then I feel hurt for him. I want him to have access to my family but it makes me not want to expose my kids to it at all so they don't have the constant disappointment of having no for an answer due to some pathetic excuse.
And excuses really are exactly that. If you have a reason or excuse for doing something or not doing something, you have created it, and you have the power to uncreate it... if you choose to.
Instead of my family seeking my kids out to see them and spend time with them, i have to just about force my kids onto them and I'm sick of it. I've had 4 years of it and want to at least not have such emotion attached to the whole situation.
I've gone through stages when I have resolved to make my visits to my sisters' less frequent, just so i don't have to pull out of her driveway with inconsolable kids who want to go in and see her but can't cos she's busy with something or other.
I don't know why i continuously set myself up and allow myself feel to feel disappointed by the lack of real interest shown to my kids by my family. I know it's not intentional and I know they do really love them.
I just can't get a breakthrough in my understanding in this area. No matter what angle I look at it from, my kids hurt, so I hurt.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Intuition and pregnancy
I've been astounded by how much i have grown on a spiritual level since being pregnant with this baby, and had put it down to pregnancy causing me to be more in tune with Mother Earth, but today I got one of those moments of clarity we all love, and realised something else that has definitely been the primary contributing factor.
The day I found out I was pregnant with this bub, I was walking past a crystal shop while going to Coles and I popped in 'randomly' thinking "I might see if I can get my tarot done".
The reader was free and a few minutes later my cards were being read by Lilla.
She placed the cards on the table, and commented on one card with a tiny golden figure in the corner of it saying "Oh, you have an angel message coming through. Remind me to get that for you, won't you, it's important".
Intrigued by what the message would be, I kept quiet and listened to her very intuitive reading. She then asked me to select a card from her Angel deck. I picked one and it was a card showing the angel Isaiah who is pictured standing behind a beautiful heavily pregnant woman. The card talks of new birth and immediately Lilla mentioned a baby or new venture and I told her I'd just found out I was pregnant that morning. She then told me the pregnancy would go perfectly and that it's an absolutely enchanting child I'm carrying... very different to my other two (not that they're not enchanting!)
The fact this message had come through and the accuracy of it for my situation made me want to buy a deck of the same Angel oracle cards she was using, so I did.
I'd heard about talking to the angels but with my being pretty anti-any-religion, I'd sort of grouped them together under the heading of belonging to a religious type of faith, so had ignored the existence of them until this point in time.
With my own set of angel oracle cards to play with, I began to do readings. Initially for myself and then for friends. I started by stating (in my head) that I had the intention of receiving information for a particular person that they needed to hear at this time, and the results were extraordinary and accurate. Immediately. I had been contributing the accuracy of these readings to being more in tune due to being pregnant, but today I realised it's actually because it was the day when I first found out I was pregnant with this baby that I began talking to the angels.
I thank them for their help and protection whenever something goes in my favour that could have as easily gone the other way. I notice the 'messages' I get and acknowledge my appreciation for having them communicated. I ask them to help me with burdens and I just feel so much joy with the level of support and love I feel on an angelic level.
The support and strength I get from them enables me to assist others, and being able to help others through sharing what I find or get through doing a reading is a gift within itself. I am feeling so blessed to be able to share this with the people in my life.
When we had our car accident the other week, I was hysterical afterwards because it could have very nearly been fatal for Jason or our daughter if Jase hadn't turned the car around the way he did to avoid direct impact on TA's side of the car. A friend really brought it home to me when she said "It's lucky your angels were flying faster than you were travelling" and when I thought about it, I realised how true it was and told my mum. She replied "The angels weren't just flying to protect you, they were ALL there taking the full impact of the crash". Gave me such goosebumps to hear that come out of my mum's mouth. If you saw how our car looked after the crash, you can see just how 'lucky' we were to escape without injury apart from whiplash.
So this post is about gratitude for the help my angels provide me with and for the gifts I'm developing through talking to them and being aware of the availability of their help.
At one point in time I had feared that when I had this baby, and left my pregnant state, these developments in my intuition would regress or disappear, I can now see it's completely within me to keep it alive :D Love it :D
Now, what I want to share with you is - "Try it! Talk to your angels!"
The day I found out I was pregnant with this bub, I was walking past a crystal shop while going to Coles and I popped in 'randomly' thinking "I might see if I can get my tarot done".
The reader was free and a few minutes later my cards were being read by Lilla.
She placed the cards on the table, and commented on one card with a tiny golden figure in the corner of it saying "Oh, you have an angel message coming through. Remind me to get that for you, won't you, it's important".
Intrigued by what the message would be, I kept quiet and listened to her very intuitive reading. She then asked me to select a card from her Angel deck. I picked one and it was a card showing the angel Isaiah who is pictured standing behind a beautiful heavily pregnant woman. The card talks of new birth and immediately Lilla mentioned a baby or new venture and I told her I'd just found out I was pregnant that morning. She then told me the pregnancy would go perfectly and that it's an absolutely enchanting child I'm carrying... very different to my other two (not that they're not enchanting!)
The fact this message had come through and the accuracy of it for my situation made me want to buy a deck of the same Angel oracle cards she was using, so I did.
I'd heard about talking to the angels but with my being pretty anti-any-religion, I'd sort of grouped them together under the heading of belonging to a religious type of faith, so had ignored the existence of them until this point in time.
With my own set of angel oracle cards to play with, I began to do readings. Initially for myself and then for friends. I started by stating (in my head) that I had the intention of receiving information for a particular person that they needed to hear at this time, and the results were extraordinary and accurate. Immediately. I had been contributing the accuracy of these readings to being more in tune due to being pregnant, but today I realised it's actually because it was the day when I first found out I was pregnant with this baby that I began talking to the angels.
I thank them for their help and protection whenever something goes in my favour that could have as easily gone the other way. I notice the 'messages' I get and acknowledge my appreciation for having them communicated. I ask them to help me with burdens and I just feel so much joy with the level of support and love I feel on an angelic level.
The support and strength I get from them enables me to assist others, and being able to help others through sharing what I find or get through doing a reading is a gift within itself. I am feeling so blessed to be able to share this with the people in my life.
When we had our car accident the other week, I was hysterical afterwards because it could have very nearly been fatal for Jason or our daughter if Jase hadn't turned the car around the way he did to avoid direct impact on TA's side of the car. A friend really brought it home to me when she said "It's lucky your angels were flying faster than you were travelling" and when I thought about it, I realised how true it was and told my mum. She replied "The angels weren't just flying to protect you, they were ALL there taking the full impact of the crash". Gave me such goosebumps to hear that come out of my mum's mouth. If you saw how our car looked after the crash, you can see just how 'lucky' we were to escape without injury apart from whiplash.
So this post is about gratitude for the help my angels provide me with and for the gifts I'm developing through talking to them and being aware of the availability of their help.
At one point in time I had feared that when I had this baby, and left my pregnant state, these developments in my intuition would regress or disappear, I can now see it's completely within me to keep it alive :D Love it :D
Now, what I want to share with you is - "Try it! Talk to your angels!"
Saturday, August 11, 2007
A day of revelations
Yesterday was a deadline. I have a project I am working on and I had given myself until Friday to finish it, but instead of being productive and getting some solid work completed, I spent the day in the depths of my head contemplating why I have been feeling a bit flat of late.
Sometimes I can understand straight away why I might be feeling flat or a bit emotional - it might be nearly a full moon or I might be feeling hormonal, or I might have just eaten crap that day, but over the past week I have had a general feeling of flatness, so I knew the answer was somewhere in me.
I'm happy to say that at about 430pm I finally got it. A nice little moment of *clarity*. It all came down to Unmet Expectations.
Usually I consider myself to be a self sufficient soul. Whole, complete and perfect within my own spiritual self.
When i am pregnant, however, for some reason, I surrender this complete sense of my happiness and fulfillment being derived from within me, and from a position of self sufficency, all of a sudden I switch to having expectations on how I should be treated by my husband because I am pregnant, and what being pregnant means, and I let my happiness be affected by whether my expectations are being met or not.
Expectations are tricky. In a marriage, unless they're communicated, they're often a difficult thing for your partner to have a clue about... despite it seeming so flippin' obvious to you.
This is what happens for me in pregnancy. I expect my husband to turn into the nurturing caring partner I crave when I'm tired, emotional, sick or sore, when nurturing just aint his thang. It's never been his thing. He's a provider and a leader and a really great dad, but he just doesn't 'do' nurturing. Well, not my version of it anyway... and this is where my expectations have been unmet and it's been causing me to suffer all sorts of disappointment that I haven't seen a way out of UNLESS HE CHANGED.
The disappointments due to these unmet expectations have built walls between us and our ability to communicate, and yesterday, I recognised that what i have been doing is focussing on what is missing in my relationship with Jase instead of appreciating what he does do in the way of being a wonderfully supportive husband.
We've just been on such different pages with this. He feels he IS supporting me 100%, through going to work and studying and bringing home the bacon, so my complaints of not being looked after how I want are insulting and confusing to him. He thinks he's doing his job.
What I communicated to him yesterday was that money has nothing to do with the support i need right now... so while I'm not ungrateful for what he is doing for our family, i can see how he would think i am being ungrateful if I've been complaining about him not looking after me properly while according to his own definition of being supportive, he is putting in his best effort.
So, I switched from focussing on the 'what's missing' to the 'what i have' in my husband. I love the way shifts in thinking make me feel.
It's like a key unlocking a door to freedom...
You can see the road you have been travelling on... you can see the road you are most likely to continue to travel on following your current pattern of thought, and by taking a jump hippity hop sidestep off that path for just a minute to look all around you from a totally different perspective, something so amazingly simple and brilliant can be revealed. There are other paths if you make them.
Love it and the simplicity of it all. Humans make their existence complex - life is simple really.
Sometimes I can understand straight away why I might be feeling flat or a bit emotional - it might be nearly a full moon or I might be feeling hormonal, or I might have just eaten crap that day, but over the past week I have had a general feeling of flatness, so I knew the answer was somewhere in me.
I'm happy to say that at about 430pm I finally got it. A nice little moment of *clarity*. It all came down to Unmet Expectations.
Usually I consider myself to be a self sufficient soul. Whole, complete and perfect within my own spiritual self.
When i am pregnant, however, for some reason, I surrender this complete sense of my happiness and fulfillment being derived from within me, and from a position of self sufficency, all of a sudden I switch to having expectations on how I should be treated by my husband because I am pregnant, and what being pregnant means, and I let my happiness be affected by whether my expectations are being met or not.
Expectations are tricky. In a marriage, unless they're communicated, they're often a difficult thing for your partner to have a clue about... despite it seeming so flippin' obvious to you.
This is what happens for me in pregnancy. I expect my husband to turn into the nurturing caring partner I crave when I'm tired, emotional, sick or sore, when nurturing just aint his thang. It's never been his thing. He's a provider and a leader and a really great dad, but he just doesn't 'do' nurturing. Well, not my version of it anyway... and this is where my expectations have been unmet and it's been causing me to suffer all sorts of disappointment that I haven't seen a way out of UNLESS HE CHANGED.
The disappointments due to these unmet expectations have built walls between us and our ability to communicate, and yesterday, I recognised that what i have been doing is focussing on what is missing in my relationship with Jase instead of appreciating what he does do in the way of being a wonderfully supportive husband.
We've just been on such different pages with this. He feels he IS supporting me 100%, through going to work and studying and bringing home the bacon, so my complaints of not being looked after how I want are insulting and confusing to him. He thinks he's doing his job.
What I communicated to him yesterday was that money has nothing to do with the support i need right now... so while I'm not ungrateful for what he is doing for our family, i can see how he would think i am being ungrateful if I've been complaining about him not looking after me properly while according to his own definition of being supportive, he is putting in his best effort.
So, I switched from focussing on the 'what's missing' to the 'what i have' in my husband. I love the way shifts in thinking make me feel.
It's like a key unlocking a door to freedom...
You can see the road you have been travelling on... you can see the road you are most likely to continue to travel on following your current pattern of thought, and by taking a jump hippity hop sidestep off that path for just a minute to look all around you from a totally different perspective, something so amazingly simple and brilliant can be revealed. There are other paths if you make them.
Love it and the simplicity of it all. Humans make their existence complex - life is simple really.
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Could it be a blessing in disguise?
Our car was written off in an accident just over a week ago and over the past few days, after much discussion, we've decided to not replace it.
I'm really excited by the thought of this and the challenge it presents! We're so used to the 'convenience' of having a car in our driveway for the past 4yrs, that it is going to take some adjusting to, and this will be the first time we're carless since having children... I'm sort of scared and excited by this at the same time!
One of the biggest reasons FOR needing a car was for getting out and about with the kids, getting to the chiro (20min drive away), getting to the hospital (10min drive away) and getting the kids to daycare 3 days a week.
So, first up, I took a big step a couple of days ago and approached a childcare centre which is just around the corner from us (5min walk) and had a walk through with the kids to see if they liked it (they did), and asked if they had places for them both, as the daycare centre they go to at the moment is 2 bus trips away from where we live, and although I'm keen to use public transport, I'm just not up to that sort of travel 3 days a week with my wild children and a bump in tow.
The answer was yes... So far our no car plan was going good!
For two days a week they will attend that daycare around the corner from us, and on Wednesdays, I'm going to catch the bus and walk with them to their current daycare. I felt this was the best solution because I don't want to pull them out of there entirely at the moment because they love the kids and staff at the current centre so much I really want to make sure they're happy at the new one before I completely uproot them.
What a weight off my shoulders it was knowing they had spots at a daycare they liked that is just around the corner from home.
Not having a car also means I am going to be forced to be more active... which I am really excited about! I am going to walk the kids to daycare, walk to the local shops (supporting smaller local businesses in my area rather than the big monster ones a bit further down the road) and using public transport to get to my midwife visits and daycare on Wednesdays etc.
Call me crazy, but all this is really exciting to me!
To top it off, financially it is an amazingly attractive way to live. It means we will save approximately $600 a month on car related expenses which in turn is going to bring us closer to owning our own abode.
Deciding to have no car meant reevaluating a few other things as well, for instance, we were planning on moving to the Gold Coast when the lease on this house ran out next month.. or... we were going to see about keeping the house for an extra 6months and moving to the GC early next year.
Yesterday we decided to sign another year long lease (we love the house and the area afterall) and that will mean in September next year, we'll be ready to move house and hopefully will have saved enough for a deposit for a house of our own. This will work out perfectly in time for when Julian starts school the following year, which has been our aim... to have a house before the kids started school.
Love how it all works out and how the chain of events is all so subtly connected.
I'm really excited by the thought of this and the challenge it presents! We're so used to the 'convenience' of having a car in our driveway for the past 4yrs, that it is going to take some adjusting to, and this will be the first time we're carless since having children... I'm sort of scared and excited by this at the same time!
One of the biggest reasons FOR needing a car was for getting out and about with the kids, getting to the chiro (20min drive away), getting to the hospital (10min drive away) and getting the kids to daycare 3 days a week.
So, first up, I took a big step a couple of days ago and approached a childcare centre which is just around the corner from us (5min walk) and had a walk through with the kids to see if they liked it (they did), and asked if they had places for them both, as the daycare centre they go to at the moment is 2 bus trips away from where we live, and although I'm keen to use public transport, I'm just not up to that sort of travel 3 days a week with my wild children and a bump in tow.
The answer was yes... So far our no car plan was going good!
For two days a week they will attend that daycare around the corner from us, and on Wednesdays, I'm going to catch the bus and walk with them to their current daycare. I felt this was the best solution because I don't want to pull them out of there entirely at the moment because they love the kids and staff at the current centre so much I really want to make sure they're happy at the new one before I completely uproot them.
What a weight off my shoulders it was knowing they had spots at a daycare they liked that is just around the corner from home.
Not having a car also means I am going to be forced to be more active... which I am really excited about! I am going to walk the kids to daycare, walk to the local shops (supporting smaller local businesses in my area rather than the big monster ones a bit further down the road) and using public transport to get to my midwife visits and daycare on Wednesdays etc.
Call me crazy, but all this is really exciting to me!
To top it off, financially it is an amazingly attractive way to live. It means we will save approximately $600 a month on car related expenses which in turn is going to bring us closer to owning our own abode.
Deciding to have no car meant reevaluating a few other things as well, for instance, we were planning on moving to the Gold Coast when the lease on this house ran out next month.. or... we were going to see about keeping the house for an extra 6months and moving to the GC early next year.
Yesterday we decided to sign another year long lease (we love the house and the area afterall) and that will mean in September next year, we'll be ready to move house and hopefully will have saved enough for a deposit for a house of our own. This will work out perfectly in time for when Julian starts school the following year, which has been our aim... to have a house before the kids started school.
Love how it all works out and how the chain of events is all so subtly connected.
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
Where I'm at
This morning I decided I'd start a new blog with a specific theme in mind. So here it is...
My blog is really a place for me to record where I'm at spiritually - on a daily or weekly or whatever the timeframe may be-basis.
I love life, I love the journey and I love where I'm at. I want to record 'where I'm at' for the sake of being able to sometime down the track look back and read over my journey and enjoy the experiences all over again.
On so many levels, I love the exchange that occurs between people when discussing stuff of a spiritual nature... and how when explaining or describing something to someone, I find myself learning at the same time as imparting information.
I really like the idea of writing about spiritual stuff for that same reason.
Writing forces me to articulate concepts I might think I understand but can't necessarily express effectively to other people. Through gaining enough clarity on a topic to write about it, it takes me through the foggy places I'm unclear on and takes me to a new level of understanding as well.
I LOVE crystal clear moments of clarity, so here's hoping lots of them season my posts here in order for a truly pleasurable experience in a few years time from now.
My blog is really a place for me to record where I'm at spiritually - on a daily or weekly or whatever the timeframe may be-basis.
I love life, I love the journey and I love where I'm at. I want to record 'where I'm at' for the sake of being able to sometime down the track look back and read over my journey and enjoy the experiences all over again.
On so many levels, I love the exchange that occurs between people when discussing stuff of a spiritual nature... and how when explaining or describing something to someone, I find myself learning at the same time as imparting information.
I really like the idea of writing about spiritual stuff for that same reason.
Writing forces me to articulate concepts I might think I understand but can't necessarily express effectively to other people. Through gaining enough clarity on a topic to write about it, it takes me through the foggy places I'm unclear on and takes me to a new level of understanding as well.
I LOVE crystal clear moments of clarity, so here's hoping lots of them season my posts here in order for a truly pleasurable experience in a few years time from now.
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