Further to my homeschooling post, today an opportunity in disguise presented itself.
The new daycare was officially notified as of 530pm this afternoon that the kids are being pulled out. To cut a long story short, Jase went to get them this afternoon and when he got there, there were 15 kids sitting on a mat looking scared... being "supervised" and yelled at by a single carer telling them to stay on the mat. You don't need to be a brain surgeon to figure that doesn't sit right with us OR regulations... so, we had a chat to Julian about whether he liked the "new school" or "Kimmy's school" as he refers to the other one. He has always said he liked the new one more, until today when he told us he likes Kimmy's one because the teachers are nicer and I have to say we agree.
I called the ABC centre and gave notice and then called our old daycare where we feel so much love and really feel spoilt in comparison, and I told the director there I'd like to book the kids in for Monday and keep their Wednesday and that we'd somehow find a way to get there without a car.
I thought I'd like Julian to attend daycare 3 days a week, but they are chockers on all days except Monday and Wednesday so it wasn't an option. I was initially disappointed but settled for being on the waiting list for a third day for him and then WHAMMO got one of those little lightning bolt moments of clarity.
Here i was trying to get him into a place designed for preparing kids for school when just a couple of posts ago I was talking about staring a homeschool journey. Go figure! I 'got' what an opportunity I could make of that day with him, rather than putting him into daycare for the extra day. So I'm stoked that it crept up on me and I realised it and am stoked for what i believe is yet another blessing in disguise.
Following this, I spoke to a friend of ours tonight who "officially" starts homeschooling his son next year. We talked about the importance of having an environment for kids to learn in in a collective type set up with other children (not age specific, but just in relation to learning social responsibilities) rather than having it occur in an isolated, age specific or individual setting.
I love discussing educational philosophy, so our chats about schools and deschooling are always a joy for me.
If I think about it, I really began having an interest in deschooling and homeschooling just over 8yrs ago when studying to be a teacher. I realised pretty early in my degree that I definitely didn't want to teach in a school environment as I didn't subscribe to institutionalised learning environments. I decided that even though I wouldn't teach in a school setting, I'd still do the degree so I could at least feel 'qualified' to teach my own kids should I want to. (I'm still 5 subjects away from completing that degree I should add.. but I have decided I don't need to be qualified with a degree in order to teach my kids... it's what we do before school starts and before the school day and after school anyway!)
Anyway, back to talking to my friend...
I told him that I think we're ready to embark on the homeschooling journey too... and that I'm still in an information gathering phase... deciding if i want to follow a curriculum or not, and that while I'm excited about all the opportunities it presents, I'm also a bit scared of the responsibility involved!
I told him we'd be more than willing to team up with him and his wife to share resources and responsibilities with our kids beginning next year.
To top it off, he also manages our local kohanga reo - which is a Maori culture and language pre-school. The kohanga is only a suburb away from us, and he's hoping to have 2 days a week at the kohanga as part of the 'curriculum' for his son and any other kids who attend. I told him we're interested in teaming up for sharing responsibilities to make it a collaborative type arrangement.. so watch this space!
Friday, August 31, 2007
A princess and a king
Julian comes out with real beauties every now and then, and this is his latest...
"Mum, when i get bigger and bigger (i.e. grow up), I'm going to marry you. (insert shy little boy giggles) I'm going to be the king and you are a princess... and when it's your birthday, I'm going to go to the shop with Daddy and get you heaps and heaps and heaps of princess toys cos I love you"
I just LOVE our conversations and the angles he comes from at times. So unexpected and so sweet.
"Mum, when i get bigger and bigger (i.e. grow up), I'm going to marry you. (insert shy little boy giggles) I'm going to be the king and you are a princess... and when it's your birthday, I'm going to go to the shop with Daddy and get you heaps and heaps and heaps of princess toys cos I love you"
I just LOVE our conversations and the angles he comes from at times. So unexpected and so sweet.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
We went on a bear hunt! What a beautiful day!
This morning was the first morning it hasn't been raining when I have taken the kids to their new daycare centre around the corner. It is roughly 400 steps from our door and the fact there wasn't rain made it so exciting to get shoes on, get bags packed and get out the door.
We grabbed our apples to munch on the way, grabbed each others hands and revelled in a lovely leisurely walk in the sunshine to school. It's been so dry here that all the rain has brought a big change to the scenery. We stopped to admire new flowers and buds (the fairies were all hiding unfortunately) and sang "We're going on a bear hunt" all the way, swishing loudly through short but very green grass and occasionally hopping like frogs. Such simple pleasures and such a nice start to the day.
The other day, I realised just what it was that has shifted in terms of me enjoying being at home with the kids lately too. It is to do with getting out of the house and into a car. I hate it! It is such a struggle to coordinate and actually get them out the door and into their car seats without telling them the same thing over and over like a record player. Since we haven't had a car, we just don't deal with that anymore! It's been such a huge relief and i had no idea just how much i hated getting the kids into and out of the car. I know where it comes from too - it's that whole notion of when you're in a rush, everyone else seems to be going soooooo slowly!
So when we do get a car again, whenever that may be, I am going to really focus on shifting that attitude towards getting out in a hurry and see what happens. It would be so nice to be relaxed to go out, the same way we were this morning before our walk. Awareness is the first step to being free of something so hopefully I'm on my way.
We grabbed our apples to munch on the way, grabbed each others hands and revelled in a lovely leisurely walk in the sunshine to school. It's been so dry here that all the rain has brought a big change to the scenery. We stopped to admire new flowers and buds (the fairies were all hiding unfortunately) and sang "We're going on a bear hunt" all the way, swishing loudly through short but very green grass and occasionally hopping like frogs. Such simple pleasures and such a nice start to the day.
The other day, I realised just what it was that has shifted in terms of me enjoying being at home with the kids lately too. It is to do with getting out of the house and into a car. I hate it! It is such a struggle to coordinate and actually get them out the door and into their car seats without telling them the same thing over and over like a record player. Since we haven't had a car, we just don't deal with that anymore! It's been such a huge relief and i had no idea just how much i hated getting the kids into and out of the car. I know where it comes from too - it's that whole notion of when you're in a rush, everyone else seems to be going soooooo slowly!
So when we do get a car again, whenever that may be, I am going to really focus on shifting that attitude towards getting out in a hurry and see what happens. It would be so nice to be relaxed to go out, the same way we were this morning before our walk. Awareness is the first step to being free of something so hopefully I'm on my way.
Monday, August 27, 2007
edge of some cool stuff and a recipe
I'm on the edge of something cool at the moment... it's a new phase I can feel myself moving in to and it's a new path self discovery I am so excited to venture on! Can't wait to see what pans out in the next few days and weeks.
I've been doing a lot of blog reading - blogs belonging particularly to midwives and I'm feeling an urge to go the doula path again.. and am thinking about just what sort of service I'd provide if I was to doula and I know I'd love to specialise in empowering women who have had traumatic previous birth experiences.
I'm also frequenting blogs dedicated to recycling items rahter than purchasing them new and am so inspired from what I'm finding that I am going through all my stuff to see what I can make and reuse.
I've also begun a new journey with my kids. It's funny how the timing works out, it's been RIGHT after all that blow up with my family. It's really put perspective on MY family and who I want to be to my kids.
I've dropped all notions of having to get this or that done, and am just in play mode. Not having a car has really helped this to progress cos we've been staying home, and rather than me running errands and towing the kids, everything we're doing together is so kid-centred as well.
We've been doing heaps of cooking. Both my kids love to cook, and i have for some time now let them stir and help make pancakes and what not... trusting their natural instincts to steer clear of the heat of the stove.
I'm enjoying their enjoyment and whether it's my new attitude to really including them in everything, or whether it's the age they're at (maybe a bit of both), every task is becoming such a lot of fun and it's feeling a lot like homeschooling... so that's another avenue I'm thinking about as well! Lots going on in my head, but all of it exciting, new and full of room for learning.
Aside from all that excitement, i wanted to post a recipe of sorts I used today. I made it up as I went and I don't know exact measures but know I'll forget it entirely this time next week if i don't record it... so here it is.
Zucchini, capsicum and red onion frittatas
Finely grate
3 zuccs
half a red capsicum
1 large red onion
heat olive oil in a pan and add veg and cook on low heat till soft. Add Trocomare (herbal salt) for flavouring.
Crack and beat 5 or 6 eggs in a bowl and slowly (so as not to cook the beaten eggs) add the cooked veg mixture and mix.
Add some sweet chilli sauce to the mix and a bit more trocomare and bit of curry powder.
Add some tasty cheese and mozarella to help bind the ingredients and then add breadcrumbs till the consistency is thick enough to hold together when dropped from a spoon onto a hot pan.
Heat the pan and add a bit of olive oil. Drop tablespoons of mix in the pan and make mini frittatas.
they were yum!
I've been doing a lot of blog reading - blogs belonging particularly to midwives and I'm feeling an urge to go the doula path again.. and am thinking about just what sort of service I'd provide if I was to doula and I know I'd love to specialise in empowering women who have had traumatic previous birth experiences.
I'm also frequenting blogs dedicated to recycling items rahter than purchasing them new and am so inspired from what I'm finding that I am going through all my stuff to see what I can make and reuse.
I've also begun a new journey with my kids. It's funny how the timing works out, it's been RIGHT after all that blow up with my family. It's really put perspective on MY family and who I want to be to my kids.
I've dropped all notions of having to get this or that done, and am just in play mode. Not having a car has really helped this to progress cos we've been staying home, and rather than me running errands and towing the kids, everything we're doing together is so kid-centred as well.
We've been doing heaps of cooking. Both my kids love to cook, and i have for some time now let them stir and help make pancakes and what not... trusting their natural instincts to steer clear of the heat of the stove.
I'm enjoying their enjoyment and whether it's my new attitude to really including them in everything, or whether it's the age they're at (maybe a bit of both), every task is becoming such a lot of fun and it's feeling a lot like homeschooling... so that's another avenue I'm thinking about as well! Lots going on in my head, but all of it exciting, new and full of room for learning.
Aside from all that excitement, i wanted to post a recipe of sorts I used today. I made it up as I went and I don't know exact measures but know I'll forget it entirely this time next week if i don't record it... so here it is.
Zucchini, capsicum and red onion frittatas
Finely grate
3 zuccs
half a red capsicum
1 large red onion
heat olive oil in a pan and add veg and cook on low heat till soft. Add Trocomare (herbal salt) for flavouring.
Crack and beat 5 or 6 eggs in a bowl and slowly (so as not to cook the beaten eggs) add the cooked veg mixture and mix.
Add some sweet chilli sauce to the mix and a bit more trocomare and bit of curry powder.
Add some tasty cheese and mozarella to help bind the ingredients and then add breadcrumbs till the consistency is thick enough to hold together when dropped from a spoon onto a hot pan.
Heat the pan and add a bit of olive oil. Drop tablespoons of mix in the pan and make mini frittatas.
they were yum!
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Affirmations
Found some wonderful Birth Affirmations in my webtravels today...
I love a lot of them, but this one stood out because it fits in with something I was thinking about yesterday...
"I now completely forgive the hospital staff and my parents for any mistakes they made at my own birth. It is now safe for me to let go completely."
One of my friends, Wendy, was telling me about a 'regression' session she had done for her, where someone traced her life from its first moments of conception onwards. She told me how she had discovered she hadn't actually been 'wanted' at the time her mum fell pregnant with her, and it made me remember my own mum telling me how she hadn't planned for me either... that i'd come before she'd planned to have children.
It hit home for me just how much this type of beginning can set a stage for the relationship between a child and parent, and how it affects every minute step of our lives. I can't believe i haven't recognised its relevance in my life before.
Like all lightbulb moments, it gave me a new understanding of why my relationship with my mum took the shape it did... from those very first moments.. and reading that affirmation gives me inspiration to let go of anything i've held onto consciously or subconsciously related to my own birth and my mum's pregnancy with me.
It is so powerful for children who feel disenfranchised from their parents to recognise the tiny and seemingly insignificant things that may piece together to contribute to 'the way things are' in their relationships, because it allows resentment, resistance and confusion (conscious or not), to be neutralised and cleared, and in that clearing a beautiful space for peace and understanding is revealed. :D
I love a lot of them, but this one stood out because it fits in with something I was thinking about yesterday...
"I now completely forgive the hospital staff and my parents for any mistakes they made at my own birth. It is now safe for me to let go completely."
One of my friends, Wendy, was telling me about a 'regression' session she had done for her, where someone traced her life from its first moments of conception onwards. She told me how she had discovered she hadn't actually been 'wanted' at the time her mum fell pregnant with her, and it made me remember my own mum telling me how she hadn't planned for me either... that i'd come before she'd planned to have children.
It hit home for me just how much this type of beginning can set a stage for the relationship between a child and parent, and how it affects every minute step of our lives. I can't believe i haven't recognised its relevance in my life before.
Like all lightbulb moments, it gave me a new understanding of why my relationship with my mum took the shape it did... from those very first moments.. and reading that affirmation gives me inspiration to let go of anything i've held onto consciously or subconsciously related to my own birth and my mum's pregnancy with me.
It is so powerful for children who feel disenfranchised from their parents to recognise the tiny and seemingly insignificant things that may piece together to contribute to 'the way things are' in their relationships, because it allows resentment, resistance and confusion (conscious or not), to be neutralised and cleared, and in that clearing a beautiful space for peace and understanding is revealed. :D
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
A beautiful day... soul therapy
Today was a long overdue catch up with my soul sista Amy. Love that girl.
We first met in a toy shop that i went to as much for the cool toys and books they stocked as to catch up with her. We immediately clicked and kept clicking each visit till we said let's catch up outside of the shop hehe.
We discovered many similarities in our lives and kept vowing to spend more time together but you know, life is busy. Both of us have kids and partners to tend to and there is all too often not much left in the tank after dishing ourselves out to those around us, so we have put it off so many times but today it actually happened.
We caught up in the morning - child-free, and spent the day having a late breakfast at a cafe with yummo soy decaf coffee followed by a flick - Amazing Grace. Gotta love girly days and wow I am refreshed :D
I am so grateful for having this earth angel in my life. Not enough of them around, but due to the fact they are such limited editions, i do treasure it so much more :D
We first met in a toy shop that i went to as much for the cool toys and books they stocked as to catch up with her. We immediately clicked and kept clicking each visit till we said let's catch up outside of the shop hehe.
We discovered many similarities in our lives and kept vowing to spend more time together but you know, life is busy. Both of us have kids and partners to tend to and there is all too often not much left in the tank after dishing ourselves out to those around us, so we have put it off so many times but today it actually happened.
We caught up in the morning - child-free, and spent the day having a late breakfast at a cafe with yummo soy decaf coffee followed by a flick - Amazing Grace. Gotta love girly days and wow I am refreshed :D
I am so grateful for having this earth angel in my life. Not enough of them around, but due to the fact they are such limited editions, i do treasure it so much more :D
Monday, August 20, 2007
ugh pregnancy hormones
I'm crying at everything and nothing at the moment. It's maddening!
I had a good idea just before... I thought i would go outside and wallow and cry in the mud that Julian has been having the best time in out there.... figured that would sort me out :D hehe
I had a good idea just before... I thought i would go outside and wallow and cry in the mud that Julian has been having the best time in out there.... figured that would sort me out :D hehe
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Betcha
i have this bub on Christmas Eve...or the early hours of Christmas day...
I'm due before then, but it's a full moon on Christmas Eve and I know that's a busy time at the birth suites so I'm putting my bets on xmas eve. :D
Julian was induced due to PROM, so nature didn't have a chance there... but TA was born 2 days after a full moon and i was laboring from about that time.
If you're interested, check the dates at
this site
and see if your babe's births and even your own and your parents' birthdays coincide with a full moon. To get back to older dates, follow this link
I'm due before then, but it's a full moon on Christmas Eve and I know that's a busy time at the birth suites so I'm putting my bets on xmas eve. :D
Julian was induced due to PROM, so nature didn't have a chance there... but TA was born 2 days after a full moon and i was laboring from about that time.
If you're interested, check the dates at
this site
and see if your babe's births and even your own and your parents' birthdays coincide with a full moon. To get back to older dates, follow this link
Friday, August 17, 2007
What am i missing here?
I'm trying to process something here cos i am feeling so empty right now.
This post is probably going to take the form of a vent based on how I'm feeling right now, but i want a good outcome and want that moment of clarity dammit :D... so hopefully through exploring what I'm feeling, it will relieve some of the sadness and confusion I feel right now.. and maybe I'll get some clarity - perhaps not today but when i read over this in a week or so.
The 'Problem'
My kids really want to spend time with my sister and my parents, yet to get that to happen is really hard work.
Both my parents and my sister are so caught up with being busy and filling their lives with 'stuff' that they give little or no priority to setting aside to spend with the kids.
I'm sure it's not even intentional, but time ticks away and they're taking the kids being here on this earth for granted.. they're waiting for that 'right' time when they do have the time, or if for instance, something happened where they suddenly got a new view of their priorities - like if one of the kids got really sick and was hospitalised or something.
It's just not good enough and it makes me feel sick... not in a disgusted way, but in a sad for my kids way. My kids deserve to be prioritised.
I could count on one hand the number of times they've spent time with my sister in the past few years. She lives a suburb away from us. I could also count on one hand the number of times she's been to our house to see them in the past year.
With my parents, at least they have a 'real' excuse of living in another state, so the lack of time the kids spend with my parents is understandable to a degree, but to get my parents to agree to a time for the kids to spend with them is nearly mission impossible.
Sure it's their choice what they do with their time and their lives, and it's their journey to go on, but what I really want clarity with is,
should I be exposing my kids to this when it's so empty, and should I be constantly setting myself up for disappointment through my dreams of having my family play an active role in my kids' lives?
I know it doesn't go unnoticed by the kids. They would be picking up on just how infrequently they see my sister or parents, and internalising it also in their own little way.
I cannot count the number of times my son has asked my sister if he can go to her place, or if she can come to ours, or if they can do something... and time and time again, she always has a reason that she can't. Always. As a result, my son hurts and then I feel hurt for him. I want him to have access to my family but it makes me not want to expose my kids to it at all so they don't have the constant disappointment of having no for an answer due to some pathetic excuse.
And excuses really are exactly that. If you have a reason or excuse for doing something or not doing something, you have created it, and you have the power to uncreate it... if you choose to.
Instead of my family seeking my kids out to see them and spend time with them, i have to just about force my kids onto them and I'm sick of it. I've had 4 years of it and want to at least not have such emotion attached to the whole situation.
I've gone through stages when I have resolved to make my visits to my sisters' less frequent, just so i don't have to pull out of her driveway with inconsolable kids who want to go in and see her but can't cos she's busy with something or other.
I don't know why i continuously set myself up and allow myself feel to feel disappointed by the lack of real interest shown to my kids by my family. I know it's not intentional and I know they do really love them.
I just can't get a breakthrough in my understanding in this area. No matter what angle I look at it from, my kids hurt, so I hurt.
This post is probably going to take the form of a vent based on how I'm feeling right now, but i want a good outcome and want that moment of clarity dammit :D... so hopefully through exploring what I'm feeling, it will relieve some of the sadness and confusion I feel right now.. and maybe I'll get some clarity - perhaps not today but when i read over this in a week or so.
The 'Problem'
My kids really want to spend time with my sister and my parents, yet to get that to happen is really hard work.
Both my parents and my sister are so caught up with being busy and filling their lives with 'stuff' that they give little or no priority to setting aside to spend with the kids.
I'm sure it's not even intentional, but time ticks away and they're taking the kids being here on this earth for granted.. they're waiting for that 'right' time when they do have the time, or if for instance, something happened where they suddenly got a new view of their priorities - like if one of the kids got really sick and was hospitalised or something.
It's just not good enough and it makes me feel sick... not in a disgusted way, but in a sad for my kids way. My kids deserve to be prioritised.
I could count on one hand the number of times they've spent time with my sister in the past few years. She lives a suburb away from us. I could also count on one hand the number of times she's been to our house to see them in the past year.
With my parents, at least they have a 'real' excuse of living in another state, so the lack of time the kids spend with my parents is understandable to a degree, but to get my parents to agree to a time for the kids to spend with them is nearly mission impossible.
Sure it's their choice what they do with their time and their lives, and it's their journey to go on, but what I really want clarity with is,
should I be exposing my kids to this when it's so empty, and should I be constantly setting myself up for disappointment through my dreams of having my family play an active role in my kids' lives?
I know it doesn't go unnoticed by the kids. They would be picking up on just how infrequently they see my sister or parents, and internalising it also in their own little way.
I cannot count the number of times my son has asked my sister if he can go to her place, or if she can come to ours, or if they can do something... and time and time again, she always has a reason that she can't. Always. As a result, my son hurts and then I feel hurt for him. I want him to have access to my family but it makes me not want to expose my kids to it at all so they don't have the constant disappointment of having no for an answer due to some pathetic excuse.
And excuses really are exactly that. If you have a reason or excuse for doing something or not doing something, you have created it, and you have the power to uncreate it... if you choose to.
Instead of my family seeking my kids out to see them and spend time with them, i have to just about force my kids onto them and I'm sick of it. I've had 4 years of it and want to at least not have such emotion attached to the whole situation.
I've gone through stages when I have resolved to make my visits to my sisters' less frequent, just so i don't have to pull out of her driveway with inconsolable kids who want to go in and see her but can't cos she's busy with something or other.
I don't know why i continuously set myself up and allow myself feel to feel disappointed by the lack of real interest shown to my kids by my family. I know it's not intentional and I know they do really love them.
I just can't get a breakthrough in my understanding in this area. No matter what angle I look at it from, my kids hurt, so I hurt.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Intuition and pregnancy
I've been astounded by how much i have grown on a spiritual level since being pregnant with this baby, and had put it down to pregnancy causing me to be more in tune with Mother Earth, but today I got one of those moments of clarity we all love, and realised something else that has definitely been the primary contributing factor.
The day I found out I was pregnant with this bub, I was walking past a crystal shop while going to Coles and I popped in 'randomly' thinking "I might see if I can get my tarot done".
The reader was free and a few minutes later my cards were being read by Lilla.
She placed the cards on the table, and commented on one card with a tiny golden figure in the corner of it saying "Oh, you have an angel message coming through. Remind me to get that for you, won't you, it's important".
Intrigued by what the message would be, I kept quiet and listened to her very intuitive reading. She then asked me to select a card from her Angel deck. I picked one and it was a card showing the angel Isaiah who is pictured standing behind a beautiful heavily pregnant woman. The card talks of new birth and immediately Lilla mentioned a baby or new venture and I told her I'd just found out I was pregnant that morning. She then told me the pregnancy would go perfectly and that it's an absolutely enchanting child I'm carrying... very different to my other two (not that they're not enchanting!)
The fact this message had come through and the accuracy of it for my situation made me want to buy a deck of the same Angel oracle cards she was using, so I did.
I'd heard about talking to the angels but with my being pretty anti-any-religion, I'd sort of grouped them together under the heading of belonging to a religious type of faith, so had ignored the existence of them until this point in time.
With my own set of angel oracle cards to play with, I began to do readings. Initially for myself and then for friends. I started by stating (in my head) that I had the intention of receiving information for a particular person that they needed to hear at this time, and the results were extraordinary and accurate. Immediately. I had been contributing the accuracy of these readings to being more in tune due to being pregnant, but today I realised it's actually because it was the day when I first found out I was pregnant with this baby that I began talking to the angels.
I thank them for their help and protection whenever something goes in my favour that could have as easily gone the other way. I notice the 'messages' I get and acknowledge my appreciation for having them communicated. I ask them to help me with burdens and I just feel so much joy with the level of support and love I feel on an angelic level.
The support and strength I get from them enables me to assist others, and being able to help others through sharing what I find or get through doing a reading is a gift within itself. I am feeling so blessed to be able to share this with the people in my life.
When we had our car accident the other week, I was hysterical afterwards because it could have very nearly been fatal for Jason or our daughter if Jase hadn't turned the car around the way he did to avoid direct impact on TA's side of the car. A friend really brought it home to me when she said "It's lucky your angels were flying faster than you were travelling" and when I thought about it, I realised how true it was and told my mum. She replied "The angels weren't just flying to protect you, they were ALL there taking the full impact of the crash". Gave me such goosebumps to hear that come out of my mum's mouth. If you saw how our car looked after the crash, you can see just how 'lucky' we were to escape without injury apart from whiplash.
So this post is about gratitude for the help my angels provide me with and for the gifts I'm developing through talking to them and being aware of the availability of their help.
At one point in time I had feared that when I had this baby, and left my pregnant state, these developments in my intuition would regress or disappear, I can now see it's completely within me to keep it alive :D Love it :D
Now, what I want to share with you is - "Try it! Talk to your angels!"
The day I found out I was pregnant with this bub, I was walking past a crystal shop while going to Coles and I popped in 'randomly' thinking "I might see if I can get my tarot done".
The reader was free and a few minutes later my cards were being read by Lilla.
She placed the cards on the table, and commented on one card with a tiny golden figure in the corner of it saying "Oh, you have an angel message coming through. Remind me to get that for you, won't you, it's important".
Intrigued by what the message would be, I kept quiet and listened to her very intuitive reading. She then asked me to select a card from her Angel deck. I picked one and it was a card showing the angel Isaiah who is pictured standing behind a beautiful heavily pregnant woman. The card talks of new birth and immediately Lilla mentioned a baby or new venture and I told her I'd just found out I was pregnant that morning. She then told me the pregnancy would go perfectly and that it's an absolutely enchanting child I'm carrying... very different to my other two (not that they're not enchanting!)
The fact this message had come through and the accuracy of it for my situation made me want to buy a deck of the same Angel oracle cards she was using, so I did.
I'd heard about talking to the angels but with my being pretty anti-any-religion, I'd sort of grouped them together under the heading of belonging to a religious type of faith, so had ignored the existence of them until this point in time.
With my own set of angel oracle cards to play with, I began to do readings. Initially for myself and then for friends. I started by stating (in my head) that I had the intention of receiving information for a particular person that they needed to hear at this time, and the results were extraordinary and accurate. Immediately. I had been contributing the accuracy of these readings to being more in tune due to being pregnant, but today I realised it's actually because it was the day when I first found out I was pregnant with this baby that I began talking to the angels.
I thank them for their help and protection whenever something goes in my favour that could have as easily gone the other way. I notice the 'messages' I get and acknowledge my appreciation for having them communicated. I ask them to help me with burdens and I just feel so much joy with the level of support and love I feel on an angelic level.
The support and strength I get from them enables me to assist others, and being able to help others through sharing what I find or get through doing a reading is a gift within itself. I am feeling so blessed to be able to share this with the people in my life.
When we had our car accident the other week, I was hysterical afterwards because it could have very nearly been fatal for Jason or our daughter if Jase hadn't turned the car around the way he did to avoid direct impact on TA's side of the car. A friend really brought it home to me when she said "It's lucky your angels were flying faster than you were travelling" and when I thought about it, I realised how true it was and told my mum. She replied "The angels weren't just flying to protect you, they were ALL there taking the full impact of the crash". Gave me such goosebumps to hear that come out of my mum's mouth. If you saw how our car looked after the crash, you can see just how 'lucky' we were to escape without injury apart from whiplash.
So this post is about gratitude for the help my angels provide me with and for the gifts I'm developing through talking to them and being aware of the availability of their help.
At one point in time I had feared that when I had this baby, and left my pregnant state, these developments in my intuition would regress or disappear, I can now see it's completely within me to keep it alive :D Love it :D
Now, what I want to share with you is - "Try it! Talk to your angels!"
Saturday, August 11, 2007
A day of revelations
Yesterday was a deadline. I have a project I am working on and I had given myself until Friday to finish it, but instead of being productive and getting some solid work completed, I spent the day in the depths of my head contemplating why I have been feeling a bit flat of late.
Sometimes I can understand straight away why I might be feeling flat or a bit emotional - it might be nearly a full moon or I might be feeling hormonal, or I might have just eaten crap that day, but over the past week I have had a general feeling of flatness, so I knew the answer was somewhere in me.
I'm happy to say that at about 430pm I finally got it. A nice little moment of *clarity*. It all came down to Unmet Expectations.
Usually I consider myself to be a self sufficient soul. Whole, complete and perfect within my own spiritual self.
When i am pregnant, however, for some reason, I surrender this complete sense of my happiness and fulfillment being derived from within me, and from a position of self sufficency, all of a sudden I switch to having expectations on how I should be treated by my husband because I am pregnant, and what being pregnant means, and I let my happiness be affected by whether my expectations are being met or not.
Expectations are tricky. In a marriage, unless they're communicated, they're often a difficult thing for your partner to have a clue about... despite it seeming so flippin' obvious to you.
This is what happens for me in pregnancy. I expect my husband to turn into the nurturing caring partner I crave when I'm tired, emotional, sick or sore, when nurturing just aint his thang. It's never been his thing. He's a provider and a leader and a really great dad, but he just doesn't 'do' nurturing. Well, not my version of it anyway... and this is where my expectations have been unmet and it's been causing me to suffer all sorts of disappointment that I haven't seen a way out of UNLESS HE CHANGED.
The disappointments due to these unmet expectations have built walls between us and our ability to communicate, and yesterday, I recognised that what i have been doing is focussing on what is missing in my relationship with Jase instead of appreciating what he does do in the way of being a wonderfully supportive husband.
We've just been on such different pages with this. He feels he IS supporting me 100%, through going to work and studying and bringing home the bacon, so my complaints of not being looked after how I want are insulting and confusing to him. He thinks he's doing his job.
What I communicated to him yesterday was that money has nothing to do with the support i need right now... so while I'm not ungrateful for what he is doing for our family, i can see how he would think i am being ungrateful if I've been complaining about him not looking after me properly while according to his own definition of being supportive, he is putting in his best effort.
So, I switched from focussing on the 'what's missing' to the 'what i have' in my husband. I love the way shifts in thinking make me feel.
It's like a key unlocking a door to freedom...
You can see the road you have been travelling on... you can see the road you are most likely to continue to travel on following your current pattern of thought, and by taking a jump hippity hop sidestep off that path for just a minute to look all around you from a totally different perspective, something so amazingly simple and brilliant can be revealed. There are other paths if you make them.
Love it and the simplicity of it all. Humans make their existence complex - life is simple really.
Sometimes I can understand straight away why I might be feeling flat or a bit emotional - it might be nearly a full moon or I might be feeling hormonal, or I might have just eaten crap that day, but over the past week I have had a general feeling of flatness, so I knew the answer was somewhere in me.
I'm happy to say that at about 430pm I finally got it. A nice little moment of *clarity*. It all came down to Unmet Expectations.
Usually I consider myself to be a self sufficient soul. Whole, complete and perfect within my own spiritual self.
When i am pregnant, however, for some reason, I surrender this complete sense of my happiness and fulfillment being derived from within me, and from a position of self sufficency, all of a sudden I switch to having expectations on how I should be treated by my husband because I am pregnant, and what being pregnant means, and I let my happiness be affected by whether my expectations are being met or not.
Expectations are tricky. In a marriage, unless they're communicated, they're often a difficult thing for your partner to have a clue about... despite it seeming so flippin' obvious to you.
This is what happens for me in pregnancy. I expect my husband to turn into the nurturing caring partner I crave when I'm tired, emotional, sick or sore, when nurturing just aint his thang. It's never been his thing. He's a provider and a leader and a really great dad, but he just doesn't 'do' nurturing. Well, not my version of it anyway... and this is where my expectations have been unmet and it's been causing me to suffer all sorts of disappointment that I haven't seen a way out of UNLESS HE CHANGED.
The disappointments due to these unmet expectations have built walls between us and our ability to communicate, and yesterday, I recognised that what i have been doing is focussing on what is missing in my relationship with Jase instead of appreciating what he does do in the way of being a wonderfully supportive husband.
We've just been on such different pages with this. He feels he IS supporting me 100%, through going to work and studying and bringing home the bacon, so my complaints of not being looked after how I want are insulting and confusing to him. He thinks he's doing his job.
What I communicated to him yesterday was that money has nothing to do with the support i need right now... so while I'm not ungrateful for what he is doing for our family, i can see how he would think i am being ungrateful if I've been complaining about him not looking after me properly while according to his own definition of being supportive, he is putting in his best effort.
So, I switched from focussing on the 'what's missing' to the 'what i have' in my husband. I love the way shifts in thinking make me feel.
It's like a key unlocking a door to freedom...
You can see the road you have been travelling on... you can see the road you are most likely to continue to travel on following your current pattern of thought, and by taking a jump hippity hop sidestep off that path for just a minute to look all around you from a totally different perspective, something so amazingly simple and brilliant can be revealed. There are other paths if you make them.
Love it and the simplicity of it all. Humans make their existence complex - life is simple really.
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Could it be a blessing in disguise?
Our car was written off in an accident just over a week ago and over the past few days, after much discussion, we've decided to not replace it.
I'm really excited by the thought of this and the challenge it presents! We're so used to the 'convenience' of having a car in our driveway for the past 4yrs, that it is going to take some adjusting to, and this will be the first time we're carless since having children... I'm sort of scared and excited by this at the same time!
One of the biggest reasons FOR needing a car was for getting out and about with the kids, getting to the chiro (20min drive away), getting to the hospital (10min drive away) and getting the kids to daycare 3 days a week.
So, first up, I took a big step a couple of days ago and approached a childcare centre which is just around the corner from us (5min walk) and had a walk through with the kids to see if they liked it (they did), and asked if they had places for them both, as the daycare centre they go to at the moment is 2 bus trips away from where we live, and although I'm keen to use public transport, I'm just not up to that sort of travel 3 days a week with my wild children and a bump in tow.
The answer was yes... So far our no car plan was going good!
For two days a week they will attend that daycare around the corner from us, and on Wednesdays, I'm going to catch the bus and walk with them to their current daycare. I felt this was the best solution because I don't want to pull them out of there entirely at the moment because they love the kids and staff at the current centre so much I really want to make sure they're happy at the new one before I completely uproot them.
What a weight off my shoulders it was knowing they had spots at a daycare they liked that is just around the corner from home.
Not having a car also means I am going to be forced to be more active... which I am really excited about! I am going to walk the kids to daycare, walk to the local shops (supporting smaller local businesses in my area rather than the big monster ones a bit further down the road) and using public transport to get to my midwife visits and daycare on Wednesdays etc.
Call me crazy, but all this is really exciting to me!
To top it off, financially it is an amazingly attractive way to live. It means we will save approximately $600 a month on car related expenses which in turn is going to bring us closer to owning our own abode.
Deciding to have no car meant reevaluating a few other things as well, for instance, we were planning on moving to the Gold Coast when the lease on this house ran out next month.. or... we were going to see about keeping the house for an extra 6months and moving to the GC early next year.
Yesterday we decided to sign another year long lease (we love the house and the area afterall) and that will mean in September next year, we'll be ready to move house and hopefully will have saved enough for a deposit for a house of our own. This will work out perfectly in time for when Julian starts school the following year, which has been our aim... to have a house before the kids started school.
Love how it all works out and how the chain of events is all so subtly connected.
I'm really excited by the thought of this and the challenge it presents! We're so used to the 'convenience' of having a car in our driveway for the past 4yrs, that it is going to take some adjusting to, and this will be the first time we're carless since having children... I'm sort of scared and excited by this at the same time!
One of the biggest reasons FOR needing a car was for getting out and about with the kids, getting to the chiro (20min drive away), getting to the hospital (10min drive away) and getting the kids to daycare 3 days a week.
So, first up, I took a big step a couple of days ago and approached a childcare centre which is just around the corner from us (5min walk) and had a walk through with the kids to see if they liked it (they did), and asked if they had places for them both, as the daycare centre they go to at the moment is 2 bus trips away from where we live, and although I'm keen to use public transport, I'm just not up to that sort of travel 3 days a week with my wild children and a bump in tow.
The answer was yes... So far our no car plan was going good!
For two days a week they will attend that daycare around the corner from us, and on Wednesdays, I'm going to catch the bus and walk with them to their current daycare. I felt this was the best solution because I don't want to pull them out of there entirely at the moment because they love the kids and staff at the current centre so much I really want to make sure they're happy at the new one before I completely uproot them.
What a weight off my shoulders it was knowing they had spots at a daycare they liked that is just around the corner from home.
Not having a car also means I am going to be forced to be more active... which I am really excited about! I am going to walk the kids to daycare, walk to the local shops (supporting smaller local businesses in my area rather than the big monster ones a bit further down the road) and using public transport to get to my midwife visits and daycare on Wednesdays etc.
Call me crazy, but all this is really exciting to me!
To top it off, financially it is an amazingly attractive way to live. It means we will save approximately $600 a month on car related expenses which in turn is going to bring us closer to owning our own abode.
Deciding to have no car meant reevaluating a few other things as well, for instance, we were planning on moving to the Gold Coast when the lease on this house ran out next month.. or... we were going to see about keeping the house for an extra 6months and moving to the GC early next year.
Yesterday we decided to sign another year long lease (we love the house and the area afterall) and that will mean in September next year, we'll be ready to move house and hopefully will have saved enough for a deposit for a house of our own. This will work out perfectly in time for when Julian starts school the following year, which has been our aim... to have a house before the kids started school.
Love how it all works out and how the chain of events is all so subtly connected.
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
Where I'm at
This morning I decided I'd start a new blog with a specific theme in mind. So here it is...
My blog is really a place for me to record where I'm at spiritually - on a daily or weekly or whatever the timeframe may be-basis.
I love life, I love the journey and I love where I'm at. I want to record 'where I'm at' for the sake of being able to sometime down the track look back and read over my journey and enjoy the experiences all over again.
On so many levels, I love the exchange that occurs between people when discussing stuff of a spiritual nature... and how when explaining or describing something to someone, I find myself learning at the same time as imparting information.
I really like the idea of writing about spiritual stuff for that same reason.
Writing forces me to articulate concepts I might think I understand but can't necessarily express effectively to other people. Through gaining enough clarity on a topic to write about it, it takes me through the foggy places I'm unclear on and takes me to a new level of understanding as well.
I LOVE crystal clear moments of clarity, so here's hoping lots of them season my posts here in order for a truly pleasurable experience in a few years time from now.
My blog is really a place for me to record where I'm at spiritually - on a daily or weekly or whatever the timeframe may be-basis.
I love life, I love the journey and I love where I'm at. I want to record 'where I'm at' for the sake of being able to sometime down the track look back and read over my journey and enjoy the experiences all over again.
On so many levels, I love the exchange that occurs between people when discussing stuff of a spiritual nature... and how when explaining or describing something to someone, I find myself learning at the same time as imparting information.
I really like the idea of writing about spiritual stuff for that same reason.
Writing forces me to articulate concepts I might think I understand but can't necessarily express effectively to other people. Through gaining enough clarity on a topic to write about it, it takes me through the foggy places I'm unclear on and takes me to a new level of understanding as well.
I LOVE crystal clear moments of clarity, so here's hoping lots of them season my posts here in order for a truly pleasurable experience in a few years time from now.
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