msn conversation with Amy:
Gabrielle says:
i have to do something to say goodbye to this pregnancy. i know it's what's holding me back from going into labour cos i am teary even thinking of it ending.
i feel so beautiful this pregnant, so full and in blossom and i don't wanna be tired, fatigued and flabby with a newborn yet!
amy says:
r u sad because u think its the last?
Gabrielle says:
maybe. i think a bit of me feels it is
Gabrielle says:
and u know how much i love this stuff, it's hard to let go of
Gabrielle says:
i was devastated when jase and i separated last time cos i mourned the babes i wouldn't have and then when this one came along it was so so much of a beautiful gift
i'm bawling my eyes out right now
Gabrielle says:
not terribly sad but just know this is it
Gabrielle says:
i'll miss the beauty and strength of feeling completely in an act of creation
Gabrielle says:
i should blog about it i think.. a commemorative and cathartic thing
amy says:
it must be ..i truly feel an emptiness just watching you so beautiful and blossumed..and that wanting to be full..its love from the inside...and radiates from you..that baby is hanging to get so you can be her/his mummy..cos you are the bestest
amy says:
i wish i could hug you right now
amy says:
thats a good idea
Gabrielle says:
thank u
amy says:
blog away
Gabrielle says:
i never felt so womanly and glowing in my femininity with the other two.. it has been THIS pregnancy that has brought it out in me and i know there will be other ways i'll express that part of me in life but pregnancy and birth is HUGE to that essential life giving essence of a woman
Gabrielle says:
i should just blog this convo
Gabrielle says:
it's what makes women clucky hey
amy says:
so well said
Gabrielle says:
seeing the beauty in other pregnant women and recogising how DIVINE it is
amy says:
you have been blessed to know that you can take this new essence of woman with you..into motherhood and into yourself
amy says:
so tru
Gabrielle says:
yes ur right
Gabrielle says:
i just have to let go of this being about me
Gabrielle says:
it's the first time i've truly felt my power; creatively, nurturing-wise and lovingly in a sense of how expansive it can be
amy says:
no way u just have to share it with all of us a bit more than u r used to..your power is beautiful feminine energy that so many of us will learn from and love
Gabrielle says:
oh thank u babe
Gabrielle says:
ok snot fest going on here now
amy says:
lol
Gabrielle says:
rofl
Monday, December 17, 2007
Friday, December 14, 2007
Blessed
ok I've had the henna done so now i can pop :D
and some pregnancy shots... from what ended up being a second blessingway when i had my belly cast and an impromptu homegrown photo shoot with friends!
and some pregnancy shots... from what ended up being a second blessingway when i had my belly cast and an impromptu homegrown photo shoot with friends!
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
freebirth
What a journey...
In the past couple of weeks I have pretty much decided to have this baby here at home.
My desire to freebirth was rekindled by seeing The Business of Being Born as it stirred something in me that has always been trying to raise its head throughout this pregnancy... particularly after GBS became a 'complication' of this pregnancy.
Anyway, after doing loads of my own research non stop pretty much since thinking "i'm going to do this"... I've had the most wonderful release yesterday when i talked to my BC midwife about my fears of the AB's being pushed on me during labour and the way the hospital would want to handle my baby after its born.
I talked to a friend about it all last week and also about my concerns re who to have with me during the birth.. because I have had a desire to have only women supporting me with this birth, as I really feel like my husband isn't going to have
a) the knowledge of what is going on to be able to fully support me
b) the ability to keep his cool and not get stressed about my giving birth outside of a hospital...
but perhaps he'll surprise me.. I have to have a few conversations with him first so it seems :D
In the past couple of weeks I have pretty much decided to have this baby here at home.
My desire to freebirth was rekindled by seeing The Business of Being Born as it stirred something in me that has always been trying to raise its head throughout this pregnancy... particularly after GBS became a 'complication' of this pregnancy.
Anyway, after doing loads of my own research non stop pretty much since thinking "i'm going to do this"... I've had the most wonderful release yesterday when i talked to my BC midwife about my fears of the AB's being pushed on me during labour and the way the hospital would want to handle my baby after its born.
I talked to a friend about it all last week and also about my concerns re who to have with me during the birth.. because I have had a desire to have only women supporting me with this birth, as I really feel like my husband isn't going to have
a) the knowledge of what is going on to be able to fully support me
b) the ability to keep his cool and not get stressed about my giving birth outside of a hospital...
but perhaps he'll surprise me.. I have to have a few conversations with him first so it seems :D
Friday, December 7, 2007
Peace, fear and birth
Naturally, I have been spending quite a bit of time thinking about the upcoming birth of this babe... and I've identified the things that I consider to be the most important pieces of the pie for me regarding the actual birth process itself.
I do not fear birth, and when I think of giving birth, I am thrilled and in awe of what is to come... I have no anticipation of pain and believe this birth is going to be something exquisite.
I am conscious of how important peace is during labour, and how fear has no place if I want it to be a truly beautiful experience. It's not only important for the mother labouring to have peace within herself, but for those surrounding her to also have peace and no sense of fear of the journey she is undertaking.
Like so many other posts, this is one i have to leave unfinished while i tend to the monkeys... :p
I do not fear birth, and when I think of giving birth, I am thrilled and in awe of what is to come... I have no anticipation of pain and believe this birth is going to be something exquisite.
I am conscious of how important peace is during labour, and how fear has no place if I want it to be a truly beautiful experience. It's not only important for the mother labouring to have peace within herself, but for those surrounding her to also have peace and no sense of fear of the journey she is undertaking.
Like so many other posts, this is one i have to leave unfinished while i tend to the monkeys... :p
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Do-it-Yourself Childbirth by Laura Shanley
Childbirth — the word alone makes most people cringe. Instantly, one imagines a frightened, tearful woman lying in a hospital bed surrounded by masked men and women and perhaps a family member. Monitors are beeping and people are yelling "PUSH! PUSH!" as the poor woman struggles with all her might to expel her baby. Her forehead is sweating and periodically she cries, "I can't do this anymore!" Medical personnel assure her that she can — but if she can't, they will be more than happy to assist her with drugs, forceps, scissors, and a knife, if necessary. Thank God for modern medicine. How did we ever survive without it?
The truth is, we did survive and can continue to survive, quite well in most cases, especially when it comes to giving birth. First, however, we must rid ourselves of the belief that childbirth is a painful, dangerous ordeal that must always be supervised and assisted by "skilled professionals." I chose to believe otherwise, and this is my story.
I first became interested in childbirth when I was about six years old. After listening to my mother's explanation of what actually happens in birth, however, my interest was short lived. "After they shave you, the doctor makes a little cut to make more room for the baby," she said. That's all I needed to hear. If there were to be any children in my future, someone else was going to have to give birth to them.
Changing Perceptions
As I grew older, movies and television helped fill in all the gory details. Obviously, I reasoned, pregnancy was a disease complete with vomiting, backaches, swollen ankles and strange cravings. If you survived it, you could look forward to hours or maybe days of excruciating labor pains, followed by weeks in the hospital. Motherhood was becoming increasingly unappealing.
My perception of childbirth changed, however, when at the age of 18 my husband-to-be, David, presented me with a copy of Grantly Dick-Read's Childbirth Without Fear. Dick-Read was an English physician who used chloroform to ease labor pains, as was the custom in the first half of the 20th century. But one night, something happened that forever changed his perception of birth.
He went to the house of a poor country woman who was about to have a child. When he felt the birth was near, he offered her the chloroform, but the woman refused to take it. This was the first time he had ever seen a woman refuse it, and yet the woman remained perfectly calm and the baby was born easily. As he was leaving, he asked her why she had chosen to give birth without an anesthetic and she replied, "It didn't hurt. It wasn't meant to, was it, doctor?"
Over the next few years, Dick-Read encountered other women who appeared to have little or no pain in childbirth. What, he wondered, could explain why some women suffered and others did not. He went on to study it extensively.
He discovered that the women who suffered the most in childbirth were the ones who were most afraid. Fear, he learned, has a profound effect on the body. When a person is in a state of fear, messages are sent to the body telling it to either fight the perceived danger or run away from it. Blood and oxygen instantly rush into the muscle structure, which in turn gives the body the power it needs to survive. Any organs that are not needed for either "fight or flight" are consequently drained of blood (and oxygen) so that it may be diverted elsewhere. This explains why people turn "white as a sheet" when they're afraid. The body assumes that the face is not in need of blood and oxygen as much as the legs, for instance, which when given the extra "fuel," enable the endangered person to run.
In addition to the face, blood is also drained from the brain, the digestive organs and the uterus. Dick-Read found that the uterus of a frightened woman in labor is literally white. Without the fuel it needs, the uterus cannot function correctly, nor can waste products be carried away. Therefore, labor hurts. The solution — eliminate the fear and you eliminate the pain.
Dick-Read's theories made sense to me. Maybe childbirth wouldn't be so bad after all, I thought. Less than two years later, David and I moved in together and I got the chance to see for myself.
In addition to Childbirth Without Fear, we had also been reading the Seth material (by Jane Roberts) and other books that dealt with how our beliefs create our reality. Little by little, we were beginning to create the life we desired. Why, we wondered, shouldn't we be able to create the birth we desired, as well? In November, 1977, I conceived.
Everyday I repeated my belief suggestions, "I believe in my ability to give birth safely and easily at home," I told myself. "I believe I'm not afraid, I believe I'm safe, I believe I'm innocent. I believe I'm deserving of a good birth." I examined every aspect of my consciousness looking for any beliefs that might prevent me from having the kind of birth I desired. I also practiced giving birth frequently in my dreams.
Consequently, I had almost none of the so-called symptoms of pregnancy. I vomited only one day, and that stopped when I realized I still had some fears about becoming a mother. "I'm not afraid of being a mother," I told myself, and I never vomited again.
I went into labor on the afternoon of August 20, 1978. The contractions weren't completely painless, but they weren't anything that I couldn't easily handle. Around midnight, David and I called up three of our friends who had asked to attend, along with a film maker who wanted to film the birth. Within a half an hour, everyone was there, and we proceeded to talk and laugh and generally enjoy ourselves. We didn't time contractions or check to see how dilated I was. We simply relaxed, had fun, and trusted that when the time was right, the baby would be born.
At about 1:30am, my water bag broke and I reached down and felt the baby's face. I walked over to the bed, got on my hands and knees, and was about to turn over when I heard an inner voice say, "Don't turn over." I didn't, and a second later my beautiful baby boy, John, literally flew into David's hands. The birth had been a tremendous success. Fifteen months later, I conceived my second son, Willie, and also delivered him, feet first, at home into my own hands. Eighteen months after having Willie, I conceived my daughter, Joy.
This time I thought I might like to be alone for the birth. I had come to trust my body completely. On the morning of November 17, 1982, I went into labor. My sons were sleeping and David was at the campus library. I took a shower, got out my little bathtub, and got down on one foot and one knee, the position that felt right to me this time. When I felt her head crowning, I gave one push and she slipped gently into my hands. She looked right up at me and gave a little cry. The thought went through my mind that she was the most beautiful gift I had ever received.
After cutting the cord, wrapping her in a blanket and delivering the placenta into the bathtub, I went over to the couch to lie down. Soft bells and the sound of ocean waves filled my head. I felt positively blissful. An hour or two later, I got up and took a shower. Then Joy, John, Willie, a friend of mine and I all walked over to the campus to see David. The temperature was in the 70's and I felt as if I were floating on air. This, I thought, is how birth is supposed to be.
The truth is, we did survive and can continue to survive, quite well in most cases, especially when it comes to giving birth. First, however, we must rid ourselves of the belief that childbirth is a painful, dangerous ordeal that must always be supervised and assisted by "skilled professionals." I chose to believe otherwise, and this is my story.
I first became interested in childbirth when I was about six years old. After listening to my mother's explanation of what actually happens in birth, however, my interest was short lived. "After they shave you, the doctor makes a little cut to make more room for the baby," she said. That's all I needed to hear. If there were to be any children in my future, someone else was going to have to give birth to them.
Changing Perceptions
As I grew older, movies and television helped fill in all the gory details. Obviously, I reasoned, pregnancy was a disease complete with vomiting, backaches, swollen ankles and strange cravings. If you survived it, you could look forward to hours or maybe days of excruciating labor pains, followed by weeks in the hospital. Motherhood was becoming increasingly unappealing.
My perception of childbirth changed, however, when at the age of 18 my husband-to-be, David, presented me with a copy of Grantly Dick-Read's Childbirth Without Fear. Dick-Read was an English physician who used chloroform to ease labor pains, as was the custom in the first half of the 20th century. But one night, something happened that forever changed his perception of birth.
He went to the house of a poor country woman who was about to have a child. When he felt the birth was near, he offered her the chloroform, but the woman refused to take it. This was the first time he had ever seen a woman refuse it, and yet the woman remained perfectly calm and the baby was born easily. As he was leaving, he asked her why she had chosen to give birth without an anesthetic and she replied, "It didn't hurt. It wasn't meant to, was it, doctor?"
Over the next few years, Dick-Read encountered other women who appeared to have little or no pain in childbirth. What, he wondered, could explain why some women suffered and others did not. He went on to study it extensively.
He discovered that the women who suffered the most in childbirth were the ones who were most afraid. Fear, he learned, has a profound effect on the body. When a person is in a state of fear, messages are sent to the body telling it to either fight the perceived danger or run away from it. Blood and oxygen instantly rush into the muscle structure, which in turn gives the body the power it needs to survive. Any organs that are not needed for either "fight or flight" are consequently drained of blood (and oxygen) so that it may be diverted elsewhere. This explains why people turn "white as a sheet" when they're afraid. The body assumes that the face is not in need of blood and oxygen as much as the legs, for instance, which when given the extra "fuel," enable the endangered person to run.
In addition to the face, blood is also drained from the brain, the digestive organs and the uterus. Dick-Read found that the uterus of a frightened woman in labor is literally white. Without the fuel it needs, the uterus cannot function correctly, nor can waste products be carried away. Therefore, labor hurts. The solution — eliminate the fear and you eliminate the pain.
Dick-Read's theories made sense to me. Maybe childbirth wouldn't be so bad after all, I thought. Less than two years later, David and I moved in together and I got the chance to see for myself.
In addition to Childbirth Without Fear, we had also been reading the Seth material (by Jane Roberts) and other books that dealt with how our beliefs create our reality. Little by little, we were beginning to create the life we desired. Why, we wondered, shouldn't we be able to create the birth we desired, as well? In November, 1977, I conceived.
Everyday I repeated my belief suggestions, "I believe in my ability to give birth safely and easily at home," I told myself. "I believe I'm not afraid, I believe I'm safe, I believe I'm innocent. I believe I'm deserving of a good birth." I examined every aspect of my consciousness looking for any beliefs that might prevent me from having the kind of birth I desired. I also practiced giving birth frequently in my dreams.
Consequently, I had almost none of the so-called symptoms of pregnancy. I vomited only one day, and that stopped when I realized I still had some fears about becoming a mother. "I'm not afraid of being a mother," I told myself, and I never vomited again.
I went into labor on the afternoon of August 20, 1978. The contractions weren't completely painless, but they weren't anything that I couldn't easily handle. Around midnight, David and I called up three of our friends who had asked to attend, along with a film maker who wanted to film the birth. Within a half an hour, everyone was there, and we proceeded to talk and laugh and generally enjoy ourselves. We didn't time contractions or check to see how dilated I was. We simply relaxed, had fun, and trusted that when the time was right, the baby would be born.
At about 1:30am, my water bag broke and I reached down and felt the baby's face. I walked over to the bed, got on my hands and knees, and was about to turn over when I heard an inner voice say, "Don't turn over." I didn't, and a second later my beautiful baby boy, John, literally flew into David's hands. The birth had been a tremendous success. Fifteen months later, I conceived my second son, Willie, and also delivered him, feet first, at home into my own hands. Eighteen months after having Willie, I conceived my daughter, Joy.
This time I thought I might like to be alone for the birth. I had come to trust my body completely. On the morning of November 17, 1982, I went into labor. My sons were sleeping and David was at the campus library. I took a shower, got out my little bathtub, and got down on one foot and one knee, the position that felt right to me this time. When I felt her head crowning, I gave one push and she slipped gently into my hands. She looked right up at me and gave a little cry. The thought went through my mind that she was the most beautiful gift I had ever received.
After cutting the cord, wrapping her in a blanket and delivering the placenta into the bathtub, I went over to the couch to lie down. Soft bells and the sound of ocean waves filled my head. I felt positively blissful. An hour or two later, I got up and took a shower. Then Joy, John, Willie, a friend of mine and I all walked over to the campus to see David. The temperature was in the 70's and I felt as if I were floating on air. This, I thought, is how birth is supposed to be.
WOW this is beautiful stuff
Taken from:
The fluctuations of Birth are the cosmic energies emanating from the centre of the earth like circles of Light wrapping the birthing woman.
Her heels must step firmly on earth in order to connect with the Energy of Mother-Earth.
The Energy of the Earth forms the magnetic impulse which draws the baby towards her at the moment of birthing.
A baby feels the vibrations of the cosmos and the innate Wisdom within him realizes the perfect labor towards his proper Birth and a mother must listen to the dictations of her body in order to follow the perfect course of birthing… as a river drags stones, the “pain” of labor work is giving birth to Life.
A perfect woman knows when the moment of delivery has arrived and forgets her fears and the only principle which guides her life… is seeing Life, wrapped within this marvellous cocoon: The new-born.
To give birth within perfection is the attribute of all mothers who know that their mission is to give Life within a glorious feat that is: delivering in squat position… the perfect position; because the five elements claim for the Justice of Birth.
Birthing mothers who are empowered within their Pure Being are rooting birth beyond pain; beyond techniques, beyond everything because after all… it’s only Life which comes to magnify Life.
"Mothers of the earth: “Don’t be afraid to deliver in concordance with the universe… in concordance with your perfection!”
The fluctuations of Birth are the cosmic energies emanating from the centre of the earth like circles of Light wrapping the birthing woman.
Her heels must step firmly on earth in order to connect with the Energy of Mother-Earth.
The Energy of the Earth forms the magnetic impulse which draws the baby towards her at the moment of birthing.
A baby feels the vibrations of the cosmos and the innate Wisdom within him realizes the perfect labor towards his proper Birth and a mother must listen to the dictations of her body in order to follow the perfect course of birthing… as a river drags stones, the “pain” of labor work is giving birth to Life.
A perfect woman knows when the moment of delivery has arrived and forgets her fears and the only principle which guides her life… is seeing Life, wrapped within this marvellous cocoon: The new-born.
To give birth within perfection is the attribute of all mothers who know that their mission is to give Life within a glorious feat that is: delivering in squat position… the perfect position; because the five elements claim for the Justice of Birth.
Birthing mothers who are empowered within their Pure Being are rooting birth beyond pain; beyond techniques, beyond everything because after all… it’s only Life which comes to magnify Life.
"Mothers of the earth: “Don’t be afraid to deliver in concordance with the universe… in concordance with your perfection!”
Monday, December 3, 2007
The Birthing Dance
Come to me, My Child
Secret longing of my inner heart
Breath of spirit
Wandering the cosmos
Choosing your next lifepath
Seeking sanctuary in my womb
Visions of you stir my dreams
Your gentle essence drifting inward
Merging into matter
Coming into consciousness
Birthing into being
Your tender wisdom speaks
The ancient knowledge of a mother's power
Our bodies grow together
Two as one
Turning round, in birthing dance
You lead me
Opening the circle corridor
Descending into unhindered ecstasy
Into my arms
Judie C. Rall
Secret longing of my inner heart
Breath of spirit
Wandering the cosmos
Choosing your next lifepath
Seeking sanctuary in my womb
Visions of you stir my dreams
Your gentle essence drifting inward
Merging into matter
Coming into consciousness
Birthing into being
Your tender wisdom speaks
The ancient knowledge of a mother's power
Our bodies grow together
Two as one
Turning round, in birthing dance
You lead me
Opening the circle corridor
Descending into unhindered ecstasy
Into my arms
Judie C. Rall
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Purebirth
Further to my previous post... and this unsquashable desire for me to be able to birth in a space the way I want...
http://www.purebirth-australia.com/support/freebirth-but.html#husband
http://www.purebirth-australia.com/support/freebirth-but.html#husband
Space
As I rapidly run out of room in my body for this baby, I am craving space on so many levels.
I want space in my bed so I can roll over with ease.
I want an empty house so I can nest and clean. I'm going crazy that i have no way of getting the house the way I want it to be, and it's not a priority for anyone but me.
At this point I don't feel comfortable at all with the idea of even laboring here cos it's so yuck. There's too much furniture, too much stuff and too many people.
I want space to breathe... and the kids pick up on this and it somehow makes them all the more needy of my attention. As soon as I withdraw to my own headspace, I'm bombarded with "Mum?" questions.
I want a haven. My house doesn't feel like that for me at all at the moment.
I keep finding that I want my mum here to make sure there's at least clean sheets on the bed when I come home from hospital... and to make sure MY needs are being met as I prepare for this bub. Mums are good at this stuff cos they needed it themselves once. Jase is more baby focussed, so it's a baby outcome focus rather than birth and baby focus.
I want Jase to support and just show some INTEREST in how I'm feeling right now. I know this one is particularly tough cos he is studying for his last exam which is held on the 11th Dec, and it's a killer so it's really taking his time right now.
I want Jase to pull his finger out and start driving the car to get used to a manual. I am fed up with being the limo driver. Completely fed up. I feel so unsupported not having the confidence he'll even be able to get me to hospital. He doesn't want to drive cos he says it makes him angry when he stalls etc. Well all that requires is a bit of practice. It reminds me of how when I was pregnant with Julian, he only got his license a month before Julian was born. It sucks.
Mostly though, I just want space.
I want his dad out of our house
I want my house clean
I want the kids in their own room
I want to have people with me in labor who GET me and support me
I want to run away and have this baby on my own in the bush somewhere if I can't have the previous things!
I'm feeling like running so much.. just for the sake of having my own space and not feeling suffocated by my environment and the people around me.
I've even thought maybe I could rent somewhere for a week around when bub is due to just have that space I am craving... to be on my own.
I want space in my bed so I can roll over with ease.
I want an empty house so I can nest and clean. I'm going crazy that i have no way of getting the house the way I want it to be, and it's not a priority for anyone but me.
At this point I don't feel comfortable at all with the idea of even laboring here cos it's so yuck. There's too much furniture, too much stuff and too many people.
I want space to breathe... and the kids pick up on this and it somehow makes them all the more needy of my attention. As soon as I withdraw to my own headspace, I'm bombarded with "Mum?" questions.
I want a haven. My house doesn't feel like that for me at all at the moment.
I keep finding that I want my mum here to make sure there's at least clean sheets on the bed when I come home from hospital... and to make sure MY needs are being met as I prepare for this bub. Mums are good at this stuff cos they needed it themselves once. Jase is more baby focussed, so it's a baby outcome focus rather than birth and baby focus.
I want Jase to support and just show some INTEREST in how I'm feeling right now. I know this one is particularly tough cos he is studying for his last exam which is held on the 11th Dec, and it's a killer so it's really taking his time right now.
I want Jase to pull his finger out and start driving the car to get used to a manual. I am fed up with being the limo driver. Completely fed up. I feel so unsupported not having the confidence he'll even be able to get me to hospital. He doesn't want to drive cos he says it makes him angry when he stalls etc. Well all that requires is a bit of practice. It reminds me of how when I was pregnant with Julian, he only got his license a month before Julian was born. It sucks.
Mostly though, I just want space.
I want his dad out of our house
I want my house clean
I want the kids in their own room
I want to have people with me in labor who GET me and support me
I want to run away and have this baby on my own in the bush somewhere if I can't have the previous things!
I'm feeling like running so much.. just for the sake of having my own space and not feeling suffocated by my environment and the people around me.
I've even thought maybe I could rent somewhere for a week around when bub is due to just have that space I am craving... to be on my own.
Saturday, December 1, 2007
37ish weeks
I have started so many blogs and I just can't finish any of them. This one is no exception as Te Aroha is sitting on the desk blocking my view of the screen. Lucky I can touchtype hehe!
Anyway a quick post about the belly.
I'm at the point where people gawk and women give me sympathetic looks followed with "oh you must be so over it by now!" but I have to say I'm really feeling differnt this time. I can certainly remember feeling 'over it' with the last two but although I am tired and bothered a bit by a dodgy pelvis, I'm really not ready for the end of this pregnancy.
I can't wait to meet this lil bub but I can...
ok i have to come back to this post too as i now have 2 kids on me and one in me which makes for an uncomfortable typing experience.
Anyway a quick post about the belly.
I'm at the point where people gawk and women give me sympathetic looks followed with "oh you must be so over it by now!" but I have to say I'm really feeling differnt this time. I can certainly remember feeling 'over it' with the last two but although I am tired and bothered a bit by a dodgy pelvis, I'm really not ready for the end of this pregnancy.
I can't wait to meet this lil bub but I can...
ok i have to come back to this post too as i now have 2 kids on me and one in me which makes for an uncomfortable typing experience.
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