Bellydancing and bellywobbling

Well, today was our first official day of unschooling. The kids would normally go to daycare today but instead...... we went to bellydancing! Along with lots of other mums and their kids, so it was great fun for the kids AND the bellydancin' mamas.

I have to say that I was really quite surprised at how technical it is! It's a much more intricate art than I'd given it credit for, and between holding M in the sling, attending to TA and sorting out J and the squabbles he was in with other kids, I even got a work out!

It began with a warm up that felt something like giving our organs a massage, and then progressed to learning some steps which I am hopefully going to be able to remember in order to play around with at home in front of the mirror.


TA loved it and did the warm up with us and a few other steps but she was more interested in the money belts jingling and shimmying than doing any of the more technical steps :D

I chatted with the mums there and discovered that the Brisbane Unschooling group meets on a Tuesday!!! How lovely that it's one of the days where we have nothing on as yet!!! So that will be something I'll find out about at the next HMA meet, and we can start planning stuff with them hopefully. Apparently they go camping and do all sorts of fun stuff, so yipee, here we come!

There was a camera at bellydancing thanks to Mel, so I'm sure there'll be photos up here shortly!

Another kewl thing that happened was that I spotted a copy of the Bhagavad Gita on K's bookshelf - this is something i have been looking out for for a while now... and she was happy to lend it to me so now i have some new reading material to devour... Thank you for getting it to me universe!

Now a cool Bellydancing video I found....

It's all in the eyes

Every mother knows the feeling...

You hand your baby to someone, or put them down somewhere while you're doing something, and you can feel their eyes just following you around the room... KNOWING you're their mother, wanting you by their side, WAITING... urging you to look over at them so they can connect with your eyes.

When you first notice your baby recognising you, it rocks your world. It's the stuff that makes mums want more kids :D

I get completely lost in M's eyes. I'm addicted to her gaze and just want more and more of those crystal clear loving exchanges we share through simply looking at one another.

It's so much like falling in love... like looking into the eyes of your beloved and just completely putting your heart out there to them, baring your soul to them... willing them to love and cherish the vulnerability you're willing to offer them while exploring the depths of your love.

I had a lightbulb moment about this just the other day. I was falling into the depths of M's eyes, looking up at me so adoringly the way babies do, and I saw just how much of her beautiful SOUL she is showing me and it dawned on me that we're all born like this, with unlimited potential and pure openness and love for all that is.

In the first few months of our lives, we're strangers to what we are or aren't, what we can or can't do, who we can or can't be. So we are open. We are endless potential. We are soul.
We ARE.

It is only through our 'life lessons' that we gradually build up a complex system of shields and walls to surround our vulnerable all-loving soul in order to protect it from the harsh judgements of a world gone mad.

Perhaps when we're looking into the eyes of a baby and allowing our heart to soften, what we're seeing is ourselves, and we're falling back in love with ourselves remembering that unlimited potential... Recognising what is core to each of us and remembering to cherish it.

Namaste

Yesterday I went along to my first Home Midwifery Association (HMA) meeting. There were, I'd guess around 40 women sitting in a large circle facing one another. Some were in full bloom with pregnant bellies, some were midwives, some were yet to be mothers, some were mothers nursing new babies and others were keeping an eye on their older children who were playing and wandering around the hall.

HMA meets fortnightly, and after yesterday's experience, I intend to make it a regular thing.

Since leaving the gathering, I've been thinking a lot about my experience there and about how i felt a profound connectedness with all the women present.

Several faces were familiar to me because of past experiences with Friends of the Birth Centre and Maternity Coalition... and other friends from on line forums were there for me to meet in real life for the first time, so i was amongst friends... but apart from the people I knew before walking in the door, there was a strange sense of recognition that i felt for people that I felt i knew and recognised but didn't actually know. The feeling made me think of the word Namaste -

The Spirit in me meets the same Spirit in you

Perhaps this is the best way to describe how i felt after leaving the gathering. That i was amongst people of the same spirit and our lives had led us all to this point... to meet, to gather, commune and share and hold space for one another.

I shared my birth story with the women, and in hindsight my only disappointment of the day is that I left out describing how spiritual M's birth had been for me, and for some unknown reason I focussed on a clinical type explanation! Unusual for me, particularly amongst this circle of women, as I could have completely let go and noone would have raised an eyebrow I don't think... but I skimmed over it.

It made me think about my shield and how i hide my spiritual side to a lot of people unless I know them well enough to know they're a receptive audience.

Overall, the gathering left me feeling very blessed, which is always a nice feeling, and one I like to reflect on. Times like today leave me feeling refreshed, joyous and excited for the future births I will someday have.

Om Hraum Mitraya

So often i am limited in describing what i have experienced by not being able to find words to adequately paint a picture.

I went to see Deva Premal and Miten tonight with some very special and inspiring women - Amy, Sheryn, Joanne and of course my little woman M in her sling.

I hope I can do justice for what I experienced tonight surrounded by this circle of women, and what we felt and shared at the performance.

Let me go back a bit and paint the undercoat :D

These three women supported me wholeheartedly with my pregnancy and journey towards M's birth and we formed a bond through sharing in the journey.

During labour, there was a beautiful moment when I communciated with M asking her to "please come down" without verbalising it. I was connected to my baby and was 'checking in' so to speak... something i did a few times during labour as there were no heartrate checks or examinations to tell where things were at and I was working with and trusting my intuition to guide me. I was really getting into my birth zone and turned off to the happenings in the room as i tuned into my body and the waves of energy passing through me. One of the most distinct moments to me at this point was hearing a mantra called Om Hraum Mitraya begin. It was an intense, raw and incredibly blissful point in labour... and that song completely melted into me... ringing through every cell in my body. Ahhh the beauty of birth...

Anyway, this mantra Om Hraum Mitraya is what I consider to be the soundtrack to M's birth, and last night we went to see Deva Premal and Miten perform.

By about the second line of the first song, I knew i was going to be regretting not having tissues cos i was blubbering at how stirring and haunting Deva's voice was live. Wowsers.

When Deva and Miten perform, they don't have a set group of songs to perform to a passive audience - instead it's a collaborative effort, and the audience is not only encouraged and taught the words to sing along, they are also asked to request what songs they want to hear.

I went HOPING hoping hoping they would sing my birthsong... but know they have about 20 cds and the chances of that one song getting included was pretty slim. Still, i had been picturing how it would feel at that moment with my circle of women around me, my baby in my arms and revisiting my birthspace through hearing Om Hraum Mitraya sung live.

During the intermission Joanne and I were outside and we spoke to a guy selling the cds and told him how M was born to Deva's music, and that the women involved in the birth were all here tonight and how I wanted to request Om Hraum Mitraya but wasn't confident i could pronounce it to call out my request! He said Deva and Miten would love the story of M being born to it, and that he'd ask Deva to sing it. We didn't hold our breath cos we knew how many requests they had!

It got later and later and at the beginning of each new song i tried not to feel disappointed it wasn't 'my' song...

There was a big loud singalong song that had the whole place going with swirling lights flashing all around the walls and ceiling of the hall, and after it finished, the room dimmed... and after the room fell to a hush, Deva said quietly "This next song is for a little 7wk old baby who is here with us tonight and who was born to this song" and we all just about howled!! Sheryn was holding M and as Deva spoke, she lifted M into the air and everyone behind us went Awww... It was overwhelming and the energy between us was unbelievable. We were transported back to a moment 7 wks earlier, and we were going to hear our song live and we couldn't believe how blessed we were! Deva began to sing and we all grabbed at each other, shaking and with tears streaming down our faces, trying to contain ourselves so as to not disturb the atmosphere for everyone else around us. It was a beautiful, bawling, connecting, sobbing, snotty experience that I will never ever forget. We stayed connected, holding hands, baby, shoulders, whatever we could reach, for the duration of the song... just beautiful... I felt so grateful that not only were were hearing this song, but that i was sharing it again with these women who meant so much to me.

At the end of the song, Deva farewelled us all with a Namaste and the whole place was buzzing and awestruck.

People started coming up to us after the lights came on to say that just being behind us and seeing our reaction to the song being announced and seeing us holding each other during that song with such emotion pouring through us had them bawling cos they could feel our energy rippling back to them.

We revisited the sacred space of birth during that song... transported by a mantra being sung by an earth angel.

Words couldn't do it justice. There wasn't a lot any of us could say, and that's saying a lot cos we're all bigtime gasbaggers.

Before leaving we went to meet and thank Deva and Miten, and discovered that in 16yrs of touring, she hasn't sung that live before, and when she began the song, Miten didn't even know what she was about to sing! That gave it an even bigger wow factor!

What a beautiful night and experience to be at one with every other person in the audience and the performers themselves... singing together and celebrating the connection and flow of energy.

And all on a full moon and Spring Equinox.

For anyone wondering what Om Hraum Mitraya translates to, it's Sanskrit for:

"May the light of friendship shine through me, drawing noble companionship."

wow - a yoni couch!

Don't know what a yoni is? You'll be in for a surprise!

Check this yoni couch out

What a creative designer!

from The Path of the Priestess

I'm reading a fabulous book at the moment. The Path of the Priestess by Sharron Rose.

Have a read of this and share what do you think...

"Looking across the landscape of today's culture, one can easily see that the definition of what is feminine is mired in deep confusion. Hollywood and the media provide us with stereotypical seductresses and vixens; gun-toting, muscle-bound women who turn to violent answers; anorexic models who teach us that self-starvation is eminently attractive; hard-edged businesswomen married to their corporations; and women and girls portrayed as victims, prostitutes, and sociopaths. Then, of course, there is always the example of the woman who has totally subordinated herself to her husband, the image that so many of us rebelled against in the 1960's and 1970's. But is commanding military troops or leaving one's children to spend sixty hours a week fulfilling corporate expectations really what women were fighting for all those years?"

an ending and a beginning

msn conversation with Amy:

Gabrielle says:
i have to do something to say goodbye to this pregnancy. i know it's what's holding me back from going into labour cos i am teary even thinking of it ending.
i feel so beautiful this pregnant, so full and in blossom and i don't wanna be tired, fatigued and flabby with a newborn yet!

amy says:
r u sad because u think its the last?

Gabrielle says:
maybe. i think a bit of me feels it is

Gabrielle says:
and u know how much i love this stuff, it's hard to let go of

Gabrielle says:
i was devastated when jase and i separated last time cos i mourned the babes i wouldn't have and then when this one came along it was so so much of a beautiful gift
i'm bawling my eyes out right now

Gabrielle says:
not terribly sad but just know this is it

Gabrielle says:
i'll miss the beauty and strength of feeling completely in an act of creation

Gabrielle says:
i should blog about it i think.. a commemorative and cathartic thing

amy says:
it must be ..i truly feel an emptiness just watching you so beautiful and blossumed..and that wanting to be full..its love from the inside...and radiates from you..that baby is hanging to get so you can be her/his mummy..cos you are the bestest

amy says:
i wish i could hug you right now

amy says:
thats a good idea

Gabrielle says:
thank u

amy says:
blog away

Gabrielle says:
i never felt so womanly and glowing in my femininity with the other two.. it has been THIS pregnancy that has brought it out in me and i know there will be other ways i'll express that part of me in life but pregnancy and birth is HUGE to that essential life giving essence of a woman

Gabrielle says:
i should just blog this convo

Gabrielle says:
it's what makes women clucky hey

amy says:
so well said

Gabrielle says:
seeing the beauty in other pregnant women and recogising how DIVINE it is

amy says:
you have been blessed to know that you can take this new essence of woman with you..into motherhood and into yourself

amy says:
so tru

Gabrielle says:
yes ur right

Gabrielle says:
i just have to let go of this being about me

Gabrielle says:
it's the first time i've truly felt my power; creatively, nurturing-wise and lovingly in a sense of how expansive it can be

amy says:
no way u just have to share it with all of us a bit more than u r used to..your power is beautiful feminine energy that so many of us will learn from and love

Gabrielle says:
oh thank u babe

Gabrielle says:
ok snot fest going on here now

amy says:
lol

Gabrielle says:
rofl