What am i missing here?

I'm trying to process something here cos i am feeling so empty right now.

This post is probably going to take the form of a vent based on how I'm feeling right now, but i want a good outcome and want that moment of clarity dammit :D... so hopefully through exploring what I'm feeling, it will relieve some of the sadness and confusion I feel right now.. and maybe I'll get some clarity - perhaps not today but when i read over this in a week or so.

The 'Problem'

My kids really want to spend time with my sister and my parents, yet to get that to happen is really hard work.

Both my parents and my sister are so caught up with being busy and filling their lives with 'stuff' that they give little or no priority to setting aside to spend with the kids.

I'm sure it's not even intentional, but time ticks away and they're taking the kids being here on this earth for granted.. they're waiting for that 'right' time when they do have the time, or if for instance, something happened where they suddenly got a new view of their priorities - like if one of the kids got really sick and was hospitalised or something.

It's just not good enough and it makes me feel sick... not in a disgusted way, but in a sad for my kids way. My kids deserve to be prioritised.

I could count on one hand the number of times they've spent time with my sister in the past few years. She lives a suburb away from us. I could also count on one hand the number of times she's been to our house to see them in the past year.

With my parents, at least they have a 'real' excuse of living in another state, so the lack of time the kids spend with my parents is understandable to a degree, but to get my parents to agree to a time for the kids to spend with them is nearly mission impossible.

Sure it's their choice what they do with their time and their lives, and it's their journey to go on, but what I really want clarity with is,

should I be exposing my kids to this when it's so empty, and should I be constantly setting myself up for disappointment through my dreams of having my family play an active role in my kids' lives?

I know it doesn't go unnoticed by the kids. They would be picking up on just how infrequently they see my sister or parents, and internalising it also in their own little way.

I cannot count the number of times my son has asked my sister if he can go to her place, or if she can come to ours, or if they can do something... and time and time again, she always has a reason that she can't. Always. As a result, my son hurts and then I feel hurt for him. I want him to have access to my family but it makes me not want to expose my kids to it at all so they don't have the constant disappointment of having no for an answer due to some pathetic excuse.

And excuses really are exactly that. If you have a reason or excuse for doing something or not doing something, you have created it, and you have the power to uncreate it... if you choose to.

Instead of my family seeking my kids out to see them and spend time with them, i have to just about force my kids onto them and I'm sick of it. I've had 4 years of it and want to at least not have such emotion attached to the whole situation.

I've gone through stages when I have resolved to make my visits to my sisters' less frequent, just so i don't have to pull out of her driveway with inconsolable kids who want to go in and see her but can't cos she's busy with something or other.

I don't know why i continuously set myself up and allow myself feel to feel disappointed by the lack of real interest shown to my kids by my family. I know it's not intentional and I know they do really love them.

I just can't get a breakthrough in my understanding in this area. No matter what angle I look at it from, my kids hurt, so I hurt.